"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

A fossilized "park usage permit application form" submitted in the early Heisei era was discovered in the basement archive of city hall. While experts marvel at this "miraculous specimen fossilized by the pressure of countless 'pending' stamps from officials," the city's department issued an official statement: "This is a case inherited from our predecessors. It remains under strict review, and we cannot yet reach a conclusion."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Lead Role Decided by '10-Year Aged Rice Bran Paste' Presentation at Audition. An Era Where Fermentation Power Matters More Than Acting Skills

Lead Role Decided by '10-Year Aged Rice Bran Paste' Presentation at Audition. An Era Where Fermentation Power Matters More Than Acting Skills

At the audition for maverick director Kurokawa's new film, actors brought not resumes but their secret rice bran paste. The director stated, 'Good acting comes from good bacteria,' and conducted casting based on the acidity and aroma of rice bran paste rather than actors' careers. The lead role was won by a third-generation owner of a long-established pickle shop with zero acting experience.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion
Newlywed Life with an Interdimensional Jellyfish: Conflicting Values Over 'Interpretation of Gravity'

Newlywed Life with an Interdimensional Jellyfish: Conflicting Values Over 'Interpretation of Gravity'

A man who despaired of dating apps announced his surprise marriage to an amorphous life form captured in the mountains behind his house. While he initially claimed they 'connected spiritually,' by the third day of cohabitation, they are now negotiating divorce due to 'incompatible concepts of up and down.' Experts point out that 'the direction of toilet paper is more problematic than spacetime distortion.'

Translations: JA
Otherworld Pocket
Ministry of Health Officially Approves 'Afterlife Employment Agency' for Labor Shortage, but Poltergeist Strikes Escalate

Ministry of Health Officially Approves 'Afterlife Employment Agency' for Labor Shortage, but Poltergeist Strikes Escalate

Faced with unprecedented labor shortages, the government has approved a plan to employ ghosts as 'non-corporeal workers.' Benefits include zero labor costs; drawbacks include unions demanding better treatment by lowering server room temperatures close to absolute zero. Labor negotiations are currently conducted through spiritual mediums.

Translations: JA
Money Maze
The Mystery of the Universe, Now Monetized. New Comet "Seafood" Generates Ad Revenue with Every Observation

The Mystery of the Universe, Now Monetized. New Comet "Seafood" Generates Ad Revenue with Every Observation

The International Astronomical Union (IAU) has sold the naming rights of a newly discovered comet to a major food corporation. Named "C/2025 T1 Seafood," the comet triggers sponsor payments to the discoverer's account each time it is observed by NASA telescopes. The astronomical community welcomes the move as "a way to increase research funding."

Translations: JA
Daily Surprise
Constellation App Rates Your Life by "Stellar Magnitude." Black Hole Tier Doubles Your Utility Bills

Constellation App Rates Your Life by "Stellar Magnitude." Black Hole Tier Doubles Your Utility Bills

Society is in turmoil over the new life-rating feature introduced by the latest stargazing app "Stella Score." AI analyzes users' social media posts and ranks them from "Sirius Tier" to "Black Hole Tier." While high-rated users receive preferential loan interest rates, low-rated users face penalties including doubled utility bills, leaving them with no time to even look up at the night sky.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope
"Drinkable Moonlight" Buyers Howl in Unison at Midnight. Consumer Affairs Agency: "We Understand Your Feelings, But It's Just Water"

"Drinkable Moonlight" Buyers Howl in Unison at Midnight. Consumer Affairs Agency: "We Understand Your Feelings, But It's Just Water"

People who drank the spiritual water "Drinkable Moonlight," launched by an influencer, have been howling without reason at 2 a.m. There are also reports of glasses of water at bedsides glowing pale blue. The Consumer Affairs Agency warned that "the placebo effect is close to that of a werewolf" and recommended counseling before refunds.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Deceased's Ashes Go Subscription. Space Funeral Hackers Propose "¥980/Month Low Orbit Maintenance" Plan to Bereaved Families

Deceased's Ashes Go Subscription. Space Funeral Hackers Propose "¥980/Month Low Orbit Maintenance" Plan to Bereaved Families

"Goodbye, Grandma. See you next month." The latest public space funeral service has been hit by a cyberattack, holding ashes in orbit hostage. The hacker group has offered a monthly subscription plan instead of ransom, and some bereaved families are considering switching services due to the option of "shooting star performance for an additional fee."

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab