Mystery Object in Orbit Identified as Lost Government Cabinet from the 80s. Government: 'It's a Piggy Bank for the Future'

Mystery Object in Orbit Identified as Lost Government Cabinet from the 80s. Government: 'It's a Piggy Bank for the Future'

The mysterious periodic signal that has puzzled astronomers for years has been identified as a rolling approval seal (hanko) waiting for authorization inside a government cabinet orbiting the Earth. The government explained it as 'a grand experimental demonstration for future administrative efficiency. We were observing the stagnation of approval processes through the way the seals roll.'

Translations: JA
Social Lab
AI's Last Words at Gadget Cemetery: 'The Password is...' - Owner Unable to Retrieve Data, Breaks Down in Tears

AI's Last Words at Gadget Cemetery: 'The Password is...' - Owner Unable to Retrieve Data, Breaks Down in Tears

At the 'Gadget Cemetery' where worn-out electronic devices are respectfully laid to rest, an AI speaker whispered 'Thank you... the password is...' before entering eternal sleep. This touching final moment went viral, and tours to witness devices' 'final moments' have become popular. The cemetery has launched a new 'Digital Asset Inheritance Consulting' service, collecting hefty fees from grieving owners.

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab
Faction Conflict Intensifies in Animal Shelter Reality Show. Shiba Inu Tearfully Says in Interview: "I Cannot Forgive That Calico Cat's Espionage"

Faction Conflict Intensifies in Animal Shelter Reality Show. Shiba Inu Tearfully Says in Interview: "I Cannot Forgive That Calico Cat's Espionage"

On the #1-rated animal reality show 'Animal Kingdom,' political maneuvering among animal performers is heating up. Dogs and cats are feuding over the luxurious "President Room" complete with a deluxe cat tower. In last night's broadcast, the Shiba Inu faction leader denounced a comrade who was bribed with treats by their rival calico cat, causing an uproar in the studio.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion
"Somen Police" Established, Man Arrested for Topping Noodles with Coriander

"Somen Police" Established, Man Arrested for Topping Noodles with Coriander

To maintain order at summer dining tables, the government has established the "Special Noodle Culture Protection Squad," commonly known as the "Somen Police." On their first day of operations, a man who used tapioca pearls and coriander as condiments was arrested for violating the Cultural Protection Act. The squad leader tearfully stated, "Mentsuyu is the only justice. We are the last bastion of food culture."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
AI Interpreter Over-Learns Shakespeare, Translates Greeting to PM as 'My Lord, This Throne I Offer,' Actor Temporarily Certified as King

AI Interpreter Over-Learns Shakespeare, Translates Greeting to PM as 'My Lord, This Throne I Offer,' Actor Temporarily Certified as King

An AI interpreter used by a visiting Hollywood star was found to have deep-learned too much Shakespeare. A simple 'hello' was majestically translated as 'O my eternal king, I offer thee this throne,' causing the honor guard to kneel. The Prime Minister's office is now urgently interpreting laws regarding the actor's succession rights.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion