Japanese Government Initiates Mutual Visa Waiver Negotiations with Hell

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs is considering visa exemptions with Hell to expand talent exchange. If realized, fire-resistant demons and customer center staff will arrive in Japan en masse, while tax evaders' one-way departures will also be facilitated.

2025-07-13

Translations: JA

Otherworld Pocket

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs announced early on the 9th the launch of “Mutual Visa Waiver Negotiations” with the Underworld Government. Aiming to resolve labor shortages and import “flame-accustomed hospitality,” they hope to reach a basic agreement this summer. If realized, demons boasting 3000°C heat resistance would endure call center hold music, while Japanese tax evaders and flame-war influencers could leisurely “self-immolate” to Hell with one-way tickets.

At the press conference held in Kasumigaoka, Tokyo, the horned Deputy Spokesperson of the Underworld appeared via online flame broadcast. “Your document-based system and our execution-by-fire system are highly compatible,” they stated, prompting bureaucrats to applaud with steamy enthusiasm. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs is considering adopting “Horn-print Biometrics” for immigration screening and plans to officially add “Birthplace: Sanzu River” as a passport field.

The negotiation document specifies receiving “10,000 demons under ’technical training’” while Japan would send 10,000 veteran corporate warriors with unpaid overtime experience. The Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare proudly claims “the working environment would actually improve,” but labor unions warn “Hell’s cauldron lid is already black.” Business circles are already calculating “geothermal maintenance personnel for virtually nothing” and eyeing advertising rights on the fire carriage.

Religious circles have mixed feelings. The Japan Buddhist Federation protested, stating “Favoring only Hell compared to Paradise shows bias.” Shinto organizations submitted infrastructure requests rivaling road lobbyists, claiming “Eight million gods will cause customs congestion.” Local governments moved quickly, with Osaka designating “Demon-killer Duty-Free Shops” for inbound tourism, while Hakone plans sister city agreements with Hell Valley for tourism attraction.

The biggest challenge is transportation. The Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism plans the “HND-666 Flame Liner” directly connecting Narita Airport to the Sanzu River. With perpetual scorching interior temperatures, air conditioning is unnecessary. “Not just carbon neutral but carbon-stuffed,” groans the Ministry of the Environment, but the Ministry of Finance is firefighting with “acceptable if fuel costs are covered by the mortal world.”

Historically, exchanges with Hell date back to the Nara period’s “Envoys to Yama.” Government officials quip “Reiwa envoys to Yama just need QR codes,” but experts note “the return rate was 10% back then.” During Diet deliberations, opposition parties pursued “If 10% of finance officials don’t return, that’s most welcome,” causing ruling party members to smile wryly.

Internationally, 136 underworld-related nations have already signed the “666 Protocol.” Japan’s delay is mocked as the “omotenashi heaven barrier,” with the Japan Tourism Agency publishing its own estimate: “Zero Hell tourists means a 13 trillion soul opportunity loss.” Ministry of Foreign Affairs executives preach “isolation is evil” while creating smokescreens with neologisms like “not immigration policy but ’transmigration policy.'”

The implementation target is next year’s heat wave. The Tourism Agency explains “Human staff melt at over 40°C, but demons have no problem,” and the Olympic Organizing Committee considers utilizing them as marathon guides. The Ministry of Justice simultaneously creates a “Tax Evader Special Zone Departure System,” with the neighboring National Tax Agency Commissioner’s eyes gleaming about “the beauty of double taxation after collecting back taxes.” The national policy under the blazing sun continues to rise with the smoke today.

Stakeholder Comments

Ministry of Foreign Affairs Section Chief: “Even Hell’s judgment depends on 2D barcodes”
Underworld Deputy Spokesperson 👹: “Your seal culture can be substituted with our cauldron lids”
National Labor Union Federation Representative: “Minimum wages belong in labor standards books, not Yama’s ledger”
Call Center Operator: “Only demons can endure the ‘Firebird’ hold music loop”
Self-proclaimed Businessman with 20 Years of Tax Evasion: “If travel expenses are deductible, Hell isn’t so bad”
Monk AI: “Namu… Update complete, extreme suffering plans also available”
Sanzu River Ferryman: “Hoping for Suica support during peak season”
Fire Insurance Company Employee: “Premium rates? They’re literally skyrocketing”
Financial Services Agency Supervisor: “Insider trading is monitored even in Hell”
The “Cauldron” Itself: “Temperature control is difficult with so much bait lately”