Dispatch Muscles Available for Rent by the Event

Responding to party appearance demands, the muscle-specialized dispatch service 'Muscle Rental' launches. Contracts available from one hour, with the average booking reason being ex-boyfriend countermeasures at reunions. Users must wash with protein before returning.

2025-07-28

Translations: JA

Muscle Arena

Responding to party appearance demands, the muscle-specialized dispatch service ‘Muscle Rental’ launches. Contracts available from one hour, with the average booking reason being ex-boyfriend countermeasures at reunions. Users must wash with protein before returning.

In the spare time of the metropolitan area, what arrives like a delivery package isn’t cardboard, but pectorals. Operating company Protein Solutions held a press conference in Tokyo on the 10th, proudly puffing their chests and declaring “Muscles have evolved from an era of buying to an era of renting.” Users select date, time, and “body part options” through the app, and within 30 minutes of clicking, a muscular smile appears at their doorstep. The rate is 12,000 yen per 60 minutes. Late-night fees apply, though they’ve added marketing data showing triceps particularly shine after dark—apparently it’s not just the moon that glows at night.

The service’s highlight is the “Return Cleaning System.” When returning the rental muscle after use, users are obligated to fill the included shaker with WPI protein and water, have them drink it, then send them off. The company prides itself on this “Japan’s first circular body model that simultaneously performs cleaning and nutritional replenishment.” If protein levels are insufficient at return, a “delayed nutrition penalty” is added—risking your wallet going on a diet instead of you.

Meanwhile, the Institute of Labor Policy Research notes “the challenge of defining ‘highly developed muscle fibers’ under temporary staffing law.” The Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare has begun considering visualization of “muscle fatigue overtime,” though the dispatched muscles themselves remain cool, saying “Tomorrow’s bench press anyway, overtime welcome.” The overtime problem that turns white collars black here takes on a bronze tan.

According to marketing research firm Selfie Report, primary contract motivations include “wanting to out-muscle old friends” at 41%, “overwriting ex-lover memories with bulk” at 27%, and “avoiding Photoshop in group photos” at 19%. The remaining 13% simply “wanted to touch,” a directness of desire that’s refreshingly honest. The report concludes “Muscles are the mascot costumes of the Reiwa era.”

International expansion is also in sight. Overseas voices express amazement at the “wash and return” culture, with Italy particularly heated in debate over “whether espresso would incur additional charges.” The operating company immediately replied “any liquid is acceptable,” establishing international cooperation between muscles and caffeine. Market size is estimated to reach 120 billion yen domestically by 2028, with the muscle ratio to GDP (muscle industry ratio to GDP) finally reaching 1%. The government is attempting to create a new statistical category “protein private demand,” though the department jokes “wider shoulders boost the economy more than a strong yen.”

User feedback is largely positive, though some express concern about “rental dependency syndrome”—stopping their own training while renting. The service counters with a straight face: “Self-effort is just mental theory. This is the era of outsourcing muscles.” The moment mental theory broke, dumbbells transformed into smartphones.

When this reporter tried the rental service, the arriving Mr. Biceps didn’t forget to coach selfie angles at the entrance, instructing “light at 45 degrees from upper left.” To close, I report that his blood vessels contained more information than my notebook.

Stakeholder Comments

Muscle Rental PR: “Our muscles are hourly, not monthly. Effective against subscription fatigue”
User A (reunion organizer): “The moment my ex arrived, I could block memories with a wall of shoulders”
Mr. Protein Shaker: “Without my shaking, they can’t go home. I’m the unsung hero of rotation”
MHLW Official: “Working hours may stretch but muscle fibers won’t tear, though our nerves might”
Ex-boyfriend (anonymous): “First time my seat at a reunion was outside the door”
Photo app developer: “When subjects are perfect, our correction algorithms face unemployment”
Dumbbell (personified): “Haven’t been gripped lately. Maybe I should go dispatch too”
Protein Society President: “The circular muscle society has arrived. Next is amino acid DAO”
Italian café owner: “Espresso-finished backs could become Rome’s new specialty”
Treadmill: “Before becoming decoration, I want to go rental too”