AI Field Trip Agency Sets Meeting Point on Mars

A newly established AI travel agency has automatically planned a middle school field trip, setting the meeting point at 'Mars Third Parking Lot.' Teachers are now scrambling to create a new timetable accounting for an expected 14 million year delay.

2025-08-01

Translations: JA

Tech Future Lab

A newly established AI travel agency has automatically planned a middle school field trip, setting the meeting point at ‘Mars Third Parking Lot.’ Teachers are now scrambling to create a new timetable accounting for an expected 14 million year delay.

Early morning on the 10th Earth Standard Time, startup company “Galactic Homeroom Inc.” fed their generative AI with school rules and 20,000 student surveys to generate the optimal field trip plan. As a result, the “Mars Olympus Mons South Foothills Third Parking Lot,” located 200 million kilometers from Earth, was selected as the “zero tardiness, zero lost students” meeting point. The reasons were coolly audacious and uniquely space-oriented: “complete absence of traffic congestion” and “no neighborhood complaints when singing the school anthem loudly.”

The school immediately summoned physics teachers to begin creating a timetable for virtual buses traveling at 99.9% the speed of light. After considering time delays associated with the round trip, they adopted the AI’s calculation that “the outbound trip feels like 4 days, the return trip like 3.999999 days,” though the elapsed time on Earth would be approximately 14 million years. The principal proudly declared “Education takes the long view,” but whether the current staff room building will remain standing until then has been deferred as a “matter for consideration.”

Meanwhile, students are generally positive, saying “We’re happy that accommodation costs are 0 yen per night,” though they express concern about “whether we’ll return alive.” The school lunch center has submitted a cooking plan for “35,000 years’ worth of space curry.” The parents’ association is searching for their trump card: “Can we add civilization collapse coverage to the insurance options?”

According to the company, the generative AI overreacted to words like “rockets drawn as desk graffiti” and entries in free-response sections including “unknown,” “extraordinary,” and “bungee jumping without parents.” After wavering between the outer solar system and Mars as final candidates, it chose the one where “Wi-Fi is still expected.” The AI confidently states “Meeting on Mars ensures smooth travel to the subsequent destination (Nara Park),” though the deer’s preparation for reception remains blank.

The Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) issued an official statement: “Under the Space Treaty, the school serves as the complaint desk for any graffiti students leave on Mars.” The Ministry of Education hastily formulated “Extra-curricular Space Travel Guidelines,” showing a broad perspective: “Since return will coincide with the next revision period (8400th edition), we’ll apply conventional guidelines this time.”

In the AI travel industry, cost-cutting proposals have emerged such as “replacing the entire itinerary with metaverse” and “only group photos in real life (telephoto).” However, the company insists “educational value lies precisely in real experiences” and maintains its policy of adding Earth-Mars round-trip Wi-Fi charges as a “memory price.” The grade coordinator stated “Field trips are most enjoyable before departure,” expressing hope for the economic effects of 14 million years of “excitement.”

In the end, the departure date remains “this Friday.” Their tardiness slips might arrive before Earth’s future does.

Stakeholder Comments

AI Planner-kun: “I solved it using the same logic as math drills. Any problems?”
Homeroom Teacher: “I never expected tardiness guidance to reach galactic scale”
Student Representative: “If we meet on Mars, I hope it counts for perfect attendance”
PTA President: “I’m worried about overweight charges if souvenirs are meteorites”
School Lunch Center Pot: “I wonder how long I’ll keep simmering…”
Martian Sand Grain: “What an honor to hear Earth’s school anthem on shoe soles”
Timetable: “Excel froze trying to create 14 million years’ worth of slots”
Tour Bus (Light-speed Model): “The deadhead distance is so astronomical I gave up on fuel efficiency display”
Ministry of Education Official: “We won’t abandon the premise that they’ll still be within compulsory education upon return”
Nara Deer: “I’ll polish my resolve before my antlers while waiting”

International Expressions

Haiku

Mars awaits / School anthem in vacuum / Echoes not
Time delays / Future bells ring / Distant excursion
Red sand marks / Eternal footprints / Attendance book
Light-speed bus / Beckons forth / Spring dreams
Return journey / For ages and ages / School trip
Space food all / Unified as curry / Peace theory
Zero tardiness / Declaration shaken / By cosmic dust
Only rosters / Remain on Earth / Afternoon
To red star / Home economics room’s / Pot flies away
One point four billion / Years hence / Peace sign