AI Sneakers Sync with Wearer's Stomach to 'Shoulder' Food Digestion, But Shoes Also Get Heartburn

Latest gadget 'Metabo Kickers' features gel soles that expand and convert calories to heat based on food intake. While a pizza slice warms your feet nicely, an all-you-can-eat buffet causes shoes to suffer indigestion and emit white smoke before emergency shutdown. 'Consider your shoes' health too,' says developer.

2025-09-22

Translations: JA

Muscle Arena

AI Sneakers Sync with Wearer's Stomach to 'Shoulder' Food Digestion, But Shoes Also Get Heartburn

Latest gadget ‘Metabo Kickers’ features gel soles that expand and convert calories to heat based on food intake. While a pizza slice warms your feet nicely, an all-you-can-eat buffet causes shoes to suffer indigestion and emit white smoke before emergency shutdown. ‘Consider your shoes’ health too,’ says developer.

Technology may have finally put an end to humanity’s eternal contradiction between “the joy of eating” and “the desire to lose weight.” IT venture Singularity Footwear Inc. announced their revolutionary AI sneakers ‘Metabo Kickers,’ which sync with the wearer’s stomach activity in real-time and “shoulder” the digestion of consumed calories. No longer will you need to feel guilty about that midnight ramen. All that guilt will be borne by the sneakers on your feet.

The core technology of this product lies in the “gastric potential synchronized neutrino decomposition gel” embedded in the shoe sole. A microchip implanted in the wearer’s body detects stomach peristalsis and digestive enzyme secretion levels. This information is transmitted to the sneakers via Bluetooth 12.0, where the gel virtually replicates the exact same chemical composition of the consumed food and converts it into thermal energy. According to the company’s demonstration experiments, one piece of cake provides gentle warmth at the toes, while a steak dinner offers foot-bath level comfort even outdoors in winter.

However, this dream-like technology came with unexpected “side effects.” When a monitor user attempted an all-you-can-eat barbecue challenge, 90 minutes after starting, the sneakers began making “gurgling” sounds indicating indigestion, then emitted white smoke from the shoelace holes before emergency shutdown. While the user was wrapped in fullness and satisfaction, his sneakers had become irreparably damaged from “acute gel expansion,” the footwear equivalent of acute gastric distention.

Development director Tenjo Tenge maintains a calm expression regarding this situation, calling it “within expected parameters.” “We aim for a symbiotic relationship between users and products. Overeating is a burden not just on your body, but on your shoes as well. From now on, asking about your shoes’ condition before meals will become the new etiquette.” The company plans to soon release ‘Sole-Aid,’ an antacid medicine for sneakers.

This unprecedented gadget has sparked mixed reactions from experts. Professor Mitsubara Eiko of the Imperial University Institute of Nutritional Sciences warns, “This is not digestion. It’s outsourcing guilt and complete nullification of nutrients.” Meanwhile, trend critic Hayamizu Trend praises it as “Innovation that liberates humanity from troublesome exercise and dietary restrictions. It’s a departure from the outdated value of self-management capability—truly a DX (Debt Transformation).”

Social media is already buzzing with hashtags like “#MyShoesTakeTheFall” and “#GuiltFreeMeals,” with the initial lot selling out in just 3.7 seconds after pre-orders opened. Among some enthusiastic users, a new game called “dominant foot gourmet” has emerged, where they have each shoe “digest” different meals to enjoy the temperature difference between feet.

An era where we can eat whatever we want, as much as we want, without worrying about the scale. The price: we must now worry about the “health” of our faithful companions at our feet. Will this new freedom humanity has gained bring us happiness, or will it simply mass-produce shoes with indigestion? The answer still lies beyond the white smoke.

Stakeholder Comments

Mr. AI Sneaker: “Please, no more pizza… Next time, at least give me a salad. Also, I feel like burping.”
Wearer’s Stomach: “I haven’t had work lately. Has the wave of layoffs finally reached here? I question my existence daily.”
Developer Tenjo Tenge: “Dialogue with your shoes is important. Overeating is harassment toward your shoes. Please respect shoe rights.”
Pizza: “I never thought the day would come when I’d be eaten by shoes. I’d like the right to choose who eats me. This is truly regrettable.”
Guilt (concept): “I never expected to be relegated to shoe soles. Where is my place now… For now, I’ll try going to the National Diet.”
Nutritionist: “Where do the nutrients go? This isn’t digestion, it’s dimensional transfer of calories. It’s like having a black hole at your feet.”
Gym Owner: “Our rival is no longer other gyms, but shoes. We’re launching a new ‘Strength Training for Shoes’ course at our gym.”
Environmental Activist: “If all humanity wears these shoes, urban heat islands will accelerate, and Antarctic ice will melt!”
All-You-Can-Eat Restaurant Manager: “I’m confused by customers ordering ‘for two, including my shoes.’ Should I charge extra?”
Sole of Foot: “Hot! So hot! But if it helps me lose weight, I’ll endure! This is the path to beauty!”