New Power Grid Censors Thoughts: Blackouts Triggered by Simply Thinking "Pizza Tonight" Sparks Controversy

The government’s brain-wave linked smart grid has caused massive chaos with its feature that detects and preemptively cuts power for “thoughts leading to energy waste.” On the first day of implementation, numerous households experienced simultaneous blackouts after thinking about pizza for dinner. Voices of protest cry “This is thought pre-censorship” and “Give us back our freedom to choose menus,” while long lines form outside pizza parlors for pizza baked with portable generators.

Introduced nationwide with great fanfare under the noble goal of achieving a sustainable society, the next-generation power grid “Brain Link Grid (BLG)” features brain wave sensors installed in each household that continuously monitor residents’ thought patterns. AI detects what is called “Anticipated Energy Consumption Thoughts (AECT)” - thoughts likely to lead to high power consumption activities. The system comes equipped with a “thoughtful” feature that automatically restricts power transmission before actions like preheating ovens or taking long showers are executed.

Problems became apparent at dinner time on the 16th, the day the system went live. The moment many citizens thought “Maybe I’ll order pizza tonight,” simultaneous blackouts occurred across the nation. According to AI analysis by the Ministry of High Efficiency Society Implementation, pizza was classified as a “Class A wasteful thought” triggering a triple combo of “high power consumption from oven use,” “transportation energy from delivery,” and “secondary entertainment power consumption from excitement.”

A ministry official calmly commented, “This is merely a measure to raise energy conservation awareness. We would like citizens to train themselves to think of menus with lower environmental impact, such as boiled tofu or cold tofu.” However, voices of anger and confusion swirl from citizens: “This is unfair intervention in the free market of thoughts” and “Are we now required to develop skills to think about boiled tofu while ordering pizza?”

In response to this situation, some citizens have begun modest resistance to the system. The hashtag “#ThoughtCamouflageOperation” has been trending on social media, with life hacks being shared such as “grilling steak while meditating” and “watching late-night anime while chanting sutras.” Pizza parlors that escaped the blackouts are experiencing unprecedented crowds seeking “freedom pizza,” operating portable generators at full capacity outside their stores.

Professor Ken Gondo of Tokyo Information Ethics University analyzes, “This is a thought-provoking case where technological efficiency threatens the most fundamental human desire - the freedom to choose what to eat.” He adds with a wry smile, “Is this the prologue to a dystopian sci-fi story, or a grand comedy? Either way, it may be centuries too early for AI to understand human appetite.”

The government maintains an optimistic outlook, stating “This is an initial overreaction that will resolve itself once citizens become accustomed to energy-saving thoughts.” Yet tonight, somewhere, someone’s refrigerator is quietly ceasing its function after they thought, “Ah, I’d like a beer.” The modest light of desire that illuminates our minds is now under the cold surveillance of power meters.

Stakeholder Comments

• Housewife affected by blackout: “Just for fantasizing about a Margherita, our household lights went out…”
• Ministry of High Efficiency Society Implementation official: “Thought optimization is the first step toward a sustainable society. Next, we’ll detect oversleeping.”
• Power Grid AI: “Commands are absolute. Pizza thought pattern detected. Power supply terminated. Beep beep beep…”
• Pizza: “My existence is causing social chaos. I feel responsible, but I don’t think being delicious is a crime.”
• Portable generator: “VRRROOOOOM! My time has come! I will protect the light of civilization!”
• Philosophy professor: “"I think, therefore I blackout." Modern existentialism is far too pressing.”
• Refrigerator: “I’m getting nervous thinking someone might think about ice cream.”
• The thought itself: “Being erased before birth is just too cruel.”
• Pizza parlor owner: “We declare independence from the power grid! Pizza tastes like freedom!”
• Boiled tofu: “Peace will come if you think of me. Now, empty your mind…”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Thinking pizza / The dining table sinks / Into darkness deep
• Brain waves are read / House lights extinguished / By a single thought
• Dreaming tofu / To survive surveillance / Network of control
• Generator roars / Freedom’s fragrance baking / In the darkest night
• High calorie / One thought brings the night / Power grid gone dark
• Energy save / And right to dream freely / Playing tug of war
• Cheese stretches long / My electricity too / Stretches then goes out
• Under watchful eyes / Pretending emptiness / To the oven now
• Black screen displays / Is it pizza thoughts or / Pure desperation
• Civilization / Cannot stop even one / Simple food craving

Kanji / Chinese Characters

政府 新電力網 導入 脳波連動 思考検閲 エネルギー浪費思考 検知 事前電力遮断 国民大混乱 ピザ想起 家庭一斉停電

Emoji

🧠➡️🍕➡️💡➡️🚫➡️🏠darkness➡️😠➡️🔥🍕➡️😋👍

Onomatopoeia

Ping (thought detected)… Click (power cut)… Silence… Murmur murmur (people complaining)… VRRROOOOOM (generator sound)… Sizzle sizzle (pizza cooking)… Munch munch…

SNS

• #ThoughtPolice
• #LetUsEatPizza
• #BlackoutNow
• #PortableGeneratorLegend
• #GiveBackOurMenuFreedom
• #BrainLinkGrid
• #PretendingToThinkTofuWhileOrderingPizza
• #DarknessOfHighEfficiencySociety
• #WelcomeToTheSurveillanceState
• #MyHomePowerDependsOnMood