The Mystery of the Universe, Now Monetized. New Comet "Seafood" Generates Ad Revenue with Every Observation

The International Astronomical Union (IAU) has sold the naming rights of a newly discovered comet to a major food corporation. Named “C/2025 T1 Seafood,” the comet triggers sponsor payments to the discoverer’s account each time it is observed by NASA telescopes. The astronomical community welcomes the move as “a way to increase research funding.”

The night sky, which humanity has gazed upon with awe and reverence, is finally transforming into a massive advertising medium. On the 18th, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) announced that due to financial difficulties, it has sold the naming rights of a new comet to Global Fish Holdings (GFH), a global food conglomerate. The contract amount is undisclosed, but sources say it “easily exceeds the annual maintenance cost of the Hubble Space Telescope.”

Thanks to this historic decision, the chunk of ice and dust traveling from the outer solar system has been officially named “C/2025 T1 Seafood.” Even more astonishing is that this contract goes beyond mere naming rights. A mechanism has been introduced whereby each time observatories around the world, including NASA, observe this comet, GFH pays “observation impression fees” as advertising costs into the account of the discoverer, amateur astronomer Michael Stargazer.

“This is a revolution in astronomy. Researchers can now immerse themselves in pure exploration without being burdened by grant application paperwork,” says IAU President Jean-Pierre Monnet excitedly. Competition among some young researchers to discover the next “jackpot comet” is reportedly intensifying. This movement, called the “Star Rush,” has even caused a surge in the used telescope market.

“Our fresh seafood and a fresh comet traveling through the solar system—could there be a more perfect brand synergy?” boasts Sherry Fisher, Vice President of Marketing at GFH. The company has also revealed plans to distribute “real-time coupons” on social media that fluctuate based on the brightness of the comet’s tail.

Of course, there are voices expressing concern about such developments. Arthur Pendleton, Professor Emeritus of Classical Cosmology, lamented in an interview: “The poetry of the night sky is now being converted into fish prices. Newton and Galileo must be weeping in their graves.” Civic groups have also criticized it as “privatization of space, a public good.”

However, in the face of the realistic gravitational pull of cash flow, romance and tradition may be utterly powerless. Already, whispers suggest that naming rights for the Andromeda Galaxy and black holes are being auctioned off next. GFH is already planning to hold a “Space Seafood Festival” timed with the comet’s peak approach.

When we make wishes upon the band of light floating in the night sky, astronomical sums of advertising money are moving at the other end of our gaze. The history of humanity weaving stories into the stars is now entering a new chapter with a new sponsor. No one could have predicted that the first page would be decorated with an advertisement for frozen seafood.

Stakeholder Comments

• C/2025 T1 Seafood Comet: “I have a living to make, too. Even days spent scattering dust and ice need some incentive.”
• Discoverer Michael Stargazer: “I never thought stargazing as a hobby would become my pension. Next, I want to discover ‘C/2026 U2 Premium Beef.’”
• IAU President Jean-Pierre Monnet: “I’ll accept the criticism. But we’ve secured funding to solve the mystery of dark energy. It’s a small sacrifice.”
• GFH Vice President Sherry Fisher: “Next, I’d like to name a lunar crater ‘Crab Festival Venue.’ The possibilities are endless.”
• Professor Emeritus Arthur Pendleton: “Soon shooting stars will become ‘flash sale announcements.’ It’s deplorable.”
• NASA Systems Engineer: “Developing an API to embed advertising tags into observation data was honestly more complex than programming Mars rovers.”
• General Astronomy Fan (anonymous): “When my child asks, ‘What’s that star?’ I’m torn about whether to say, ‘That’s the fresh fish star, honey.’”
• Advertising Agency Executive: “We’re calculating cosmic-scale CPA (cost per acquisition). It’s exciting because there’s no precedent.”
• Jupiter: “I find it aesthetically questionable to have an advertising billboard passing right by my orbit.”
• The Spirit of Capitalism: “This is what the frontier spirit is truly about.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• A starry night / A traveler bearing / A fish’s name
• With each observation / Cha-ching goes the comet / Across the sky
• In the frost moon sky / Seafood trails its tail / Through the void
• Advertising fees / Earned by sweeping star / Winter draws near
• At the galaxy’s edge / Light selling its name / Grains of gold
• Look up and see / Price-tagged shooting stars / Streaming by
• The cosmic poem / Now read with sponsors / In the sky
• A billion-year journey / At its end, bearing / A corporate logo
• In the celestial show / Peeking from the edge / A fish mark
• Research funding / Comet-dependent now / In the winter sky

Kanji / Chinese Characters

新彗星 命名権 食品大手 売却 彗星名 シーフード 決定 NASA 望遠鏡 観測毎 発見者 口座 広告料 振込 天文学界 研究予算 増 歓迎一色

Emoji

☄️➡️🐟💰➡️🔭➡️👨‍🔬💸🎉

Onomatopoeia

Shoooooo… Sparkle sparkle… Cha-ching! Murmur murmur… Click (observation sound)… Ping (payment notification) Whoooosh… Glitter… Sizzle sizzle (seafood grilling sound)

SNS

• #SeafoodComet
• Getting money deposited into your account just for observing? That’s the ultimate side hustle
• #EvenTheStarsAreCaptalist
• My grandpa got mad saying “Don’t name stars after fish!”
• Coupons that change discount rates based on comet brightness is hilarious
• Next up: naming rights for Martian land?
• #MonetizingTheUniverse
• I can’t look up at the night sky with pure feelings anymore…
• Astronomers, good luck! (In every sense)
• #Fish-fish-fish-cosmic-fish