Passenger Aircraft Designed by Master Director: Theme Song Blasts at Takeoff, Emergency Exits Appear Only After End Credits

A passenger aircraft designed by a genius director begins blasting an epic theme song at maximum volume upon takeoff, with seatbelts automatically locking. The in-flight safety video has been replaced with a trailer for the director’s next film, and emergency exits remain unlit until a 2-hour end credit sequence concludes.

The emerging airline company “Eternal Airlines” has launched a specially designed aircraft called “Molan One.” Its design was supervised by Christopher Molan, a film director known for his enigmatic style. The company proclaims to provide “not just travel, but a flying cinematic experience,” and the inaugural flight took off with a full cabin of eager passengers. However, their expectations were soon escorted into uncharted territory as the roar of takeoff was accompanied by an orchestra blasting at eardrum-shaking volumes.

The moment the aircraft left the runway, the cabin was filled with the familiar heavy theme music from Molan’s films, played at a volume that raised questions about safety standards. Simultaneously, passengers’ seatbelts locked automatically with a mechanical “click,” rendering manual release impossible. According to insiders, this is “a theatrical device designed to enhance the audience’s sense of inevitable immersion in the early stages of the story.”

What further bewildered passengers was the in-flight safety video that should have been shown before takeoff. Instead of explanations on how to wear oxygen masks or use life jackets, a mysterious 3-minute trailer for Molan’s upcoming film “Echoes of Spacetime” was screened. The only information passengers received regarding emergency procedures was the caption “Coming Soon.”

Concerns about safety have erupted among aviation critics. Particularly scrutinized is the specification of the emergency exits. The aircraft’s emergency exit guide lights remain unlit, and doors stay locked until the completion of a 2-hour-long end credit sequence after landing. The credits list not only the filming crew but also catering vendors and even the director’s pet dog’s name, and viewing all of them is an absolute prerequisite for disembarkation.

Eternal Airlines’ spokesperson proudly states, “This work—I mean, this flight—is designed based on the director’s perfect vision. End credits are an essential part of the work, and omitting them would be an insult to the creator.” In balancing passenger safety and the dignity of the creator, the latter emerged victorious.

The Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism takes the situation seriously and has issued a stern warning to the company. It has also decided to establish an expert committee to determine how much “artistic freedom of expression” should be recognized under aviation law. The committee is expected to discuss “regulations on end credit font size and typeface.”

Will passengers safely witness the conclusion of this grand narrative and return to the real world on the ground with applause? Or will they close the curtain on their lives before the next film’s release? Regulatory authorities worldwide are watching the screen with bated breath for the next showing (flight) of this “flying cinema.”

Stakeholder Comments

• Director Christopher Molan: “My works have one rule: once you sit down, you watch until the end. That doesn’t change in the sky. The bathroom? That’s foreshadowing.”
• Eternal Airlines CEO: “We’ve built a business model that transforms the ‘boredom’ of travel time into ’emotion.’ This is a revolution. No refunds.”
• Inaugural flight passenger (Director fan): “The immersion was incredible! The thrill of searching for my own name in the end credits was irresistible!”
• Inaugural flight passenger (General public): “I just wanted to go to the neighboring town, but I was forced to watch the names of strangers for 2 hours. I thought my bladder was going to explode.”
• Aviation critic: “This is unprecedented. Even if a crash is imminent, are they going to say ‘We’re at a good part now’?”
• Seatbelt (Personified): “We are no longer safety devices. We are artistic restraints that enforce the director’s intentions on passengers.”
• Theme song (Personified): “The moment when takeoff G-force and my bass sync is where the soul is liberated! Come on, turn up the volume!”
• Emergency exit (Personified): “Staff want a break during the end credits too. Consider our circumstances. Please wait until the show begins.”
• Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism official: “We are facing the philosophical question of whether law can judge art. For now, we’ll start by reviewing popcorn carry-on regulations.”
• End credit text (Personified): “Each and every one of us is a contributor to this magnificent flight. Not a single character may be overlooked.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Autumn sky / Loud music echoes / Belts fastened tight
• A trailer plays / Life jacket explanation / Nowhere to be found
• Long night passes / Waiting for the exit / End credits roll
• Master director / Aircraft takes flight / Is this a theater?
• When viewing ends / Will the exit finally open? / Emergency door
• Cannot leave seat / Bladder screams / Autumn deepens
• Is it art / Or madness unknown / Ten thousand feet high
• Sky journey / Life entrusted / Viewing party
• Credits scroll / No time to search / For my own name
• Genius flies / Regulations can’t follow / Above the clouds

Kanji / Chinese Characters

鬼才監督設計旅客機 離陸同時壮大曲爆音 安全映像次回作予告 非常口二時間後点灯

Emoji

✈️🎬🎶🔊💺🔒➡️🍿🎥➡️⏳📜➡️🚪❌

Onomatopoeia

Gogogogogo… Kiiiin! Jajajajaaaan! Kacha! Wiiiiin… Zawazawa… (Shiin)… Doon! Katakataka… (endlessly continuing text scrolling sound) Shiin… Chiin. Paka.

SNS

• #FlyingCinema
• #CantLeaveUntilEndCreditsFinish
• #MolanAirlines
• Want to use the bathroom but can’t leave my seat. Is this the director’s intention…?
• The next film’s trailer was amazing! However, the oxygen mask location is unknown.
• #WhatIsSafety
• There’s an airline that won’t let you off even after landing
• 2-hour end credits in economy class is torture
• Torn between emotion and the urge to urinate
• #ThisIsntAnAirplaneItsAnIncident