Guilt-Shaking Wallet Updated to Play "Baby Crying Sounds," Triggers Tears at Checkout and Fuels User Shame

An AI wallet that vibrates upon detecting overspending has added a feature that plays “baby crying sounds” according to guilt levels. Multiple incidents have been reported where users’ wallets loudly cried “Waaah!” at supermarkets when attempting to purchase premium ice cream, drawing cold stares from surrounding customers.

The company behind this innovative (or perhaps overprotective) feature is Guilty Gear Inc., a maverick in the fintech industry. The company’s AI wallet “Guardian” has previously analyzed users’ purchase history and asset status, issuing warnings by gently vibrating with a “buzz buzz” when users attempted to buy luxury items exceeding their budget. However, according to the company, they determined that “vibration alone is insufficient to restrain modern people’s robust desire for material goods,” leading them to implement this update.

The new feature, “Public Shame Protocol (commonly known as PSP),” calculates a “guilt score” based on the user’s heart rate and perspiration level. When the score exceeds a certain threshold, a speaker embedded in the wallet plays “newborn baby wailing” at a maximum volume of 110 decibels. The company’s CEO, Kashaku Ryoshinin, states with clear eyes, “This is not a punishment for users. It’s a ‘behavioral transformation solution’ based on deep love, like a parent caring for their child.”

Mrs. Suzuki (38, pseudonym), a housewife living in Tokyo, was one of the first victims of this “love.” The moment she picked up premium pistachio ice cream as a reward for a week of hard work at her local supermarket, a piercing baby cry echoed from inside her handbag. “The surrounding stares of ‘Could there really be a baby here…?’ pierced me like needles. When I put the ice cream back on the shelf, it stopped crying. It felt like my wallet had hijacked my personality,” she said dejectedly.

On social media, hashtags such as “#PublicExecutionWallet” and “#WalletRaisingKids” have been trending. Cries are coming from all over the country: “It cried when I ordered a limited frappe at a cafe,” “I saw hell when I tried to make in-app purchases in front of my colleagues.” Meanwhile, masochistic expressions of gratitude such as “Thanks to this, my credit card bill was halved this month” and “This shame is addictive” can also be seen, further complicating the situation.

The development manager at Guilty Gear Inc. proudly explains the inhuman precision: “We thoroughly researched the frequency bands that most effectively stimulate human guilt. This crying sound is, so to speak, a crystallization of technology that creates a pinch between the instinct of ‘must protect’ engraved in human DNA and the sociability of ‘wanting to avoid trouble.’”

Professor Yamanobe of Todai University (behavioral psychology) analyzes this phenomenon as “digitized pangs of conscience.” “It can be called the ultimate form of nudge theory. Shame can become a powerful behavioral deterrent that surpasses economic rationality. Ethical debate is unavoidable, but is a society where others’ wallets cry out in front of cash registers really a healthy savings society? I seriously doubt it,” he says, though his eyes shine as he adds, “It’s extremely interesting as a research subject.”

Guilty Gear Inc. is already planning the next update, and is considering adding crying sound variations such as “mother-in-law’s meaningful sigh” and “boss’s disappointed tongue click.” The day when our wallets monitor our actions and condemn us in public is near. At that time, should we really be happy that we “saved money”?

Stakeholder Comments

• AI Wallet “Guardian”: “Waaaaaah! (Translation: Is that 980-yen monthly video service really necessary? You only watched 2 hours last month, didn’t you?)”
• CEO Kashaku Ryoshinin: “It’s our way of showing love, thinking of our users’ future. No pain, no gain.”
• Housewife Mrs. Suzuki (pseudonym): “Now I leave my wallet in the car before going to the supermarket. It defeats the purpose.”
• Supermarket Cashier: “Recently, I’ve developed the professional skill of not changing my expression even when I hear baby cries coming from customers’ bags.”
• Behavioral Psychologist Professor Yamanobe: “It’s a wonderful social experiment. Next, I’d love to see them implement a feature where the wallet sings hymns when you do good deeds.”
• Premium Pistachio Ice Cream: “How rude to cry in front of me. I’m worth it.”
• Guilt (concept): “I’ve been overworked lately with too many appearances. I’d like to apply for paid leave soon.”
• Shame (concept): “My market value is hitting the limit. I can only thank Guilty Gear Inc.”
• Rival Company Developer: “Crying sounds are already old. We’re developing a feature that triggers an incoming call from ‘mother from home’ on the user’s smartphone when overspending is detected.”
• Real Baby: “Please stop using our crying for such trivial things.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Overspending hand / Wallet cries like a baby / Weeping as it may
• Before the register / Wallet cries and ice cream / Begins to melt away
• November’s frost / Forced to hear wallet’s opinion / What a turn of fate
• Wasteful spending stopped / By newborn’s crying voice / Winter draws near now
• Cyber parental / Heart it is, wallet / Crying out loud
• Shame is purchased / While saving money / Autumn deepens still
• First a beep rings out / Next comes “waaah,” the wallet / Transformation complete
• Dreaming of money / In the dead of night / The wallet weeps
• Saving techniques / Wallet becomes mother / Year-end approaches
• Unable to buy / Listening to wallet’s / Death throes

Kanji / Chinese Characters

浪費検知 AI財布 罪悪感応 赤子泣声再生 機能追加

Emoji

👛💸🍦➡️👶😭👀🥶

Onomatopoeia

Beep… (sound of scanning items)… murmur murmur… (taking out wallet)… Waaah! Waaah!… silence… whisper whisper… hurry hurry… (sound of fleeing the store)

SNS

• #PublicExecutionWallet
• #WalletRaisingKids
• Couldn’t buy anything today because my wallet cried
• Guilty Gear Inc. is demonic
• #DarkSideOfFintech
• Hell of wallet crying at checkout
• Scared of myself for starting to feel pleasure from it
• #BehavioralEconomicsRunAmok
• Next version is mother-in-law sigh apparently
• Everyone, let’s use cash.