City Requires My Number Card for 'Swamp Tart' Purchases — Introduces BMI-Linked Variable Sugar Tax

Following the mass obesity epidemic among citizens caused by the explosively popular “Swamp Tart,” the city council passed and immediately enacted an ordinance on the 21st designating patisseries and other sellers as “Designated Sugar Supply Stations.” A “BMI-Linked Variable Sugar Tax” was introduced, applying punitive tax rates to tart prices for citizens whose BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds the standard value based on biometric authentication at purchase. In response, a citizens’ group claiming “the store tempted us; we are the victims” has begun a hunger strike (with low-sugar snacks) in front of city hall, demanding medical expense deductions for tart purchases.

On the first day of implementation, citizens clutching their My Number Cards formed a long queue outside the popular local shop “Pâtisserie Bottomless” before opening time. At the store entrance, newly installed IC card readers and weight-measuring floor plates instantly perform facial recognition and body composition scans on customers attempting to enter. The system is linked to the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare database. Citizens with a BMI under 25 can purchase at the regular price (800 yen including tax), but those over 25 face a 50% “Excessive Sugar Intake Warning Tax,” while those over 30 are hit with a 200% tax rivaling “sanctuary-free tariffs.”

As the store opened at 10 AM, electronic sounds of joy and despair echoed from the storefront. While some office workers pumped their fists at the announcement “Authentication successful. Standard tax rate applies,” others—like a housewife who protested “It’s the weight of my winter clothes!"—faced the merciless mechanical voice declaring “Warning. BMI 28.5 confirmed. Punitive tax rate applied. Payment amount is 1,200 yen.” A city tax office representative boasted, “Following the use of My Number Cards as health insurance cards, this is a groundbreaking expansion into ’luxury goods usage.’ No reform of waistlines without painful reform.”

The “Swamp Tart” is a calorie bomb of a confection, with butter and sugar kneaded into the dough to the limit, topped with a two-layer structure of custard and fresh cream. It earned the “swamp” nickname on social media for melting one’s reason with a single bite, and has pushed up the average citizen’s weight by 3 kilograms over the past six months. The city, concerned about future increases in lifestyle disease-related medical costs, has taken this hardline measure, but citizen backlash has been tremendous.

The representative of the citizens’ group “Association for Tart Freedom” (BMI 29), protesting in front of city hall while holding a protein bar, makes no effort to hide their indignation. “The government is violating our right to self-determination. Getting fat is not my fault. That glossy tart was calling to me from the display case, ‘Eat me.’ This was an accident caused by force majeure, and purchase costs should rather be deducted as disaster recovery expenses.” The group continues their sit-in, though at 3 PM snack time, they have been spotted sharing hidden Swamp Tarts during their “strategic break for energy replenishment.”

Meanwhile, the store side cannot hide their bewilderment either. The shop owner laments, “Being made to display a ‘Designated Sugar Supply Station’ sign makes it seem like we’re handling hazardous materials.” However, ironically, a status as “the chosen ones (high income or high BMI)” who seek tarts even at high tax rates has emerged, and sales have actually slightly increased. Additionally, “Tart scalpers” have begun appearing in back alleys—thin citizens making “proxy purchases” and reselling with added handling fees—raising concerns about impacts on the underground economy.

With Christmas approaching and demand for cakes rising, the greasy standoff between city and citizens continues. Sweet temptation versus bitter taxation—which will prevail? Citizens’ wallets and waistlines are facing unprecedented tightening pressure.

Stakeholder Comments

• City Tax Office Director “All tart tax revenue will be used for fitness gym development within the city and expansion of konjac fields. Citizens’ fat transforming into public facilities—this is truly a circular economy.”
• “Pâtisserie Bottomless” Shop Owner “Customers’ faces when they hold up their My Number Cards are too serious—it’s scary. I’m just baking tarts, yet somehow I feel like I’ve become a black market kingpin.”
• Protest Participant (Male, 40s) “The humiliation of having my BMI history displayed on My Number Portal! This isn’t a digital tattoo—it’s a Digital Fat-too!”
• Scalper “Slim Ken” (Self-proclaimed) “Who knew my 12% body fat percentage would be worth this much money? 500 yen handling fee per box of tarts. Win-win, right?”
• Swamp Tart (Personified) “Don’t stare at me like that. I’ll raise your BMI, you know? But that passion of yours, willing to pay a high price to have me… I don’t hate it.”
• City AI Server “Processing Load Increasing. Citizens’ Appetite Exceeds Computing Capacity. Error, Error, Error. Circuits Are Becoming Glycated From Analyzing Tart Images.”
• Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare Official (Anonymous) “Who would have thought a local tart shop would become the catalyst for My Number Card adoption… Should we consider implementing this in Kasumigaseki? No, everyone would be too afraid of metabolic checkups to buy anything.”
• Local Gym Trainer “Thanks to this, membership applications are flooding in. ‘I’d rather pay gym fees than tart tax,’ they say. The motivation is impure, but we welcome them.”
• Neighboring Municipalities “Our city doesn’t have any tart shops, so we’re seeing economic effects from cross-border fat—excuse me, cross-border gourmet customers. Thank you, Swamp Tart.”
• Bathroom Scale “Everyone who steps on me lately holds their breath, but that doesn’t make you lighter, you know.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Winter sky— / Holding up my card / Fat tax time
• Swamp tart waits / Heavy tax rate questions / My waistline
• Authentication beeps / Merciless sound echoes / Snow clouds gather
• Thin proxy buyers / Line up in December’s chill / Year-end errands
• Sweet trap escaped / Yet still somehow / Taxation finds me
• Awaiting Christmas Eve / Cake prices now / A matter of life
• Wanting to eat / Fingertips reaching / Trembling still
• “Give us deductions!” / They shout, mouths dusted / With powdered sugar
• Calories now / Managed by the state / My Number card
• Waiting for spring / Belly fat remains / Unmelted still

Kanji / Chinese Characters

市議会沼菓子指定供給所認定 体格指数連動変動税導入 生体認証即時課税市民困惑 抗議団体医療控除要求座込 甘味地獄金満脂肪循環社会

Emoji

🍰💳🤳➡️🤖⚖️🚫💰📈😱🏃‍♂️💨🏋️‍♀️

Onomatopoeia

Beep… “Authentication successful.” Buzz! “Warning, warning.” Ka-ching (sound of additional tax). Munch munch, chomp chomp. Murmur murmur, chatter chatter. Dead silence… (the moment of stepping on the scale).

SNS

• #SwampTartTax #MyNumberCardRequired
• Bought a tart with BMI over 30 and went bankrupt lol
• The government is visualizing my fatness. Unforgivable.
• My thin friend looks like a god now. Asked them to proxy purchase.
• On hunger strike but the donated tart is delicious #Contradiction
• Forgot my My Number Card and couldn’t buy a tart. Want to die.
• “Designated Sugar Supply Station” sounds like a sci-fi movie.
• This is basically a singles tax (nonsensical logical leap)
• Please make Swamp Tart a hometown tax return gift next year. I’ll offset it with tax reduction.
• Freedom to eat! Freedom of fat! #FreeFat