Wanted Poster Sketch Unanimously Rendered as 'Popular Actor' by Witnesses; Investigation HQ Apologizes to Talent Agency

The Tokyo Metropolitan Police Special Investigation Headquarters released a wanted poster for a person of interest in a series of burglaries on the 6th, but in an unprecedented turn of events, the crucial sketch portion was replaced with a blacked-out apology letter. The sketch, created based on eyewitness testimonies, bore an uncanny “dead ringer” resemblance to popular actor Kanade Jinguji (28), currently starring in NHK’s historical drama, raising concerns about portrait rights and publicity rights infringement.

According to investigators, the sketch creation process devolved into a kind of “collective trance state.” Five neighborhood residents who witnessed the incident were gathered to provide testimony, but instead of describing the perpetrator’s features, they began heatedly debating “the criminal’s character design.” Requests such as “I sensed despair toward society and a faint glimmer of hope in his retreating figure” and “Please make the nose bridge more prominent to express the nobility of a lone wolf” poured in, with the veteran sketch artist (58) receiving millimeter-level correction instructions. The scene transformed from an interrogation room into a film production studio.

After approximately four hours of “directorial guidance,” the completed sketch depicted an absolute beauty with melancholic eyes and a perfect E-line profile. All witnesses unanimously approved, declaring “This is exactly the criminal we ‘wanted to see,’” followed by thunderous applause. However, the PR department chief who received the submission was left speechless, saying, “This is clearly a reproduction of Kanade Jinguji’s promotional photo.” Following an emergency compliance meeting with legal counsel, it was determined that “distributing this as a wanted poster carries a high risk of defamation and business interference lawsuits from the talent agency.”

As a result, street bulletin boards now display a poster featuring only a silhouette, accompanied by the bizarre statement: “We sincerely apologize that our pursuit of the witnesses’ ideals resulted in a likeness reminiscent of a specific individual.” At a regular press conference, the Commissioner General of the National Police Agency said with a pained expression, “The balance between citizens’ ‘fandom psychology’ and investigative objectivity is collapsing. We must re-recognize how much human memory is corrected by desire.”

Meanwhile, late that night, the actual suspect—an unemployed man (42)—was arrested, but his appearance was nothing like the sketch; he was an ordinary middle-aged man. In response, the witness group that participated in creating the sketch has been flooding the police with protest calls, claiming “This is miscasting,” “The police are concealing the truth (image),” and “This interpretation is wrong.” They say truth is stranger than fiction, but in modern times, it seems truth is simply less popular than fiction.

Stakeholder Comments

• Sketch Artist (58): “My 30-year career wasn’t meant for drawing handsome men. Please let me draw more wrinkles and age spots.”
• Witness Housewife (45): “That fleeing figure definitely had Jinguji-kun’s aura. The current arrestee must be a body double prepared by the police.”
• Talent Agency Legal Representative: “We’re grateful for the police’s wise judgment in preventing our talent’s face from being plastered all over town as ‘wanted.’ Though, I must admit, I was a bit curious to see it.”
• Arrested True Culprit (42): “There’s no way I’m that handsome. Look in a mirror before you come arrest me.”
• Social Psychologist: “This is runaway ‘aesthetic bias.’ Beyond the stereotype that villains are ugly and heroes are beautiful, the masses are seeking the drama of ‘beautiful evil’ in real crime.”
• Advertising Agency Creative Director: “The sketch quality is so high it actually loses realism. This is the ultimate paradoxical art.”
• Online News Commentator: “We’re now in an era where even wanted posters are beautified by AI generation. Will criminals who aren’t ‘photogenic’ not even get attention?”
• Onlooker at the Scene: “I didn’t report him because he didn’t look like the sketch, but that old guy was the criminal…?”
• Convenience Store Security Camera: “I recorded the truth, but nobody wanted to believe my footage (reality) over their mental imagery (fantasy).”
• Brush Pen: “Those beautiful eyes I drew with trembling hands—that wasn’t my will.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Seeking stars in eyes / Of the criminal, the brush / Loses its way now
• Handsome on poster / The whole town buzzes with talk / Wanted man so fair
• Not memory but / Wishes painted in spring dreams / Truth left behind
• Truth is erased by / Correction fluid—such is / The sorrow we know
• Over-beautified / The sketch becomes sin itself / Too handsome to catch
• Looks like my idol / Officer hesitates to / Make the arrest now
• Hallucinated / Handsome man pursued by all / The investigation
• Portrait rights weigh more / Than capturing criminals / In modern justice
• “Wrong interpretation!” / The witnesses cry out loud / Denying the truth
• If this were drama / The theme song would play right now / At this very scene

Kanji / Chinese Characters

目撃証言総意 似顔絵過剰美化 実在俳優酷似 肖像権侵害懸念 手配書謝罪文替

Emoji

👮‍♂️🎨👀✨➡️👨‍🎤🚫📝🙇‍♂️

Onomatopoeia

Scratch, scratch, sketch, sketch. Sigh… so dreamy… Sparkle, sparkle, BANG! Gasp, whisper whisper. Bow, bow, apologize. Murmur, murmur.

SNS

• #SketchTooHandsomeProblem
• #JingujiKanadeCaughtInCrossfire
• Police apology letter is hilarious lmao what are they even apologizing for
• Witnesses acting like producers is too funny
• Real culprit being called “wrong interpretation” is just sad
• Modern mass hallucination is scary
• Not “handsome privilege” but “handsome wrongful accusation”
• Official version is the biggest “wrong interpretation”
• Gotta give credit to the sketch artist’s skills though
• Plot twist for the next drama theory