Beef Bowl Chain Implements "4-Business-Day Order Review" to Combat Resale; Corporate Motto Changed from "Fast & Cheap" to "Hard & Strict"

On the 22nd, major domestic beef bowl chain “Bekokaku Shokudo” introduced a new system called “Zero Trust Beef Bowl” to conduct strict identity verification and screening for all menu orders as a countermeasure against the resale of popular anime collaboration merchandise. The company’s corporate motto since its founding, “Fast, Cheap, Delicious,” was formally changed on the same day to “Hard, Strict, Suspicious.”

Under the new system, an order for a single standard bowl requires identity verification using a My Number card, submission of a registered seal certificate (issued within 3 months), and a handwritten essay of at least 800 characters on the theme “Why I desire a beef bowl right now.” The submitted documents are forwarded to the headquarters’ compliance department, where they are cross-referenced with anti-social forces databases and reseller blacklists, with a “Dining Permit” issued in a minimum of 4 business days.

On the first day of this policy’s introduction, a bizarre scene unfolded at stores in Tokyo. Folding chairs resembling those at administrative procedure windows were lined up in front of ticket machines, filled with salarymen stamping application forms with trembling hands while enduring hunger. One male office worker (45) collapsed to his knees the moment his documents were rejected due to a deficiency in the “Extra/Less Red Ginger” section. “I just want to eat lunch, but this is stricter than a mortgage review,” he said with hollow eyes.

The results in terms of security were dramatic. The overly strict screening completely prevented purchases for resale purposes, achieving a situation where “no one can buy anything” in the first place. A company spokesperson proudly stated, “The ultimate form of security is for no one to be able to access it. We have achieved complete Zero Trust for the first time as a beef bowl chain.” On the other hand, there have been successive cases of customers attaining enlightenment at the counter after exceeding the limits of hunger during the waiting period, or being rushed to the hospital with extreme hypoglycemia, resulting in a store turnover rate of an astonishing “0.02 turns/day.”

Experts are concerned that this trend will spread to the entire fast-food industry. Professor Hiyameshi Kuuzou of the Toto University Faculty of Social Psychology analyzed with a mix of irony, “It is a caricature of modern society buying safety at the expense of convenience. However, a beef bowl served after a 4-day wait, combined with the spice of hunger, might provide an emotion surpassing three Michelin stars.”

Bekokaku Shokudo is reportedly also considering shifting to a “Web3 Beef Bowl,” which would use blockchain technology to assign an NFT (Non-Fungible Token) to every single grain of rice and make the submission of chewing data mandatory.

Stakeholder Comments

• Reseller: “I can’t touch it if they go this far. The anime boom will be over in the 4 days I have to wait.”
• Bekokaku Shokudo Compliance Manager: “Doubting the customer is the first step to the best service.”
• Customer waiting for review: “While polishing my essay, I realized that what I really wanted to eat wasn’t a beef bowl, but a rice ball made by my mother.”
• Store Manager on site: “I spend more time checking seal impressions than serving beef bowls. What kind of shop am I running?”
• MHLW Official: “From the perspective of work-style reform, we may need to extend lunch breaks to 4 days.”
• IT Security Consultant: “It’s a textbook example of Zero Trust where ’nothing is trusted.’ However, availability is zero.”
• Collaboration Anime Fan: “The goods were protected, but my stomach is about to die.”
• Nearby Convenience Store Clerk: “Customers who failed the screening over there are coming here crying and panic-buying rice balls.”
• Cow (Ingredient): “Thanks for giving me a 4-day reprieve.”
• Red Ginger: “Lately, no one is putting me on anything.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Review pending / Beef bowl gets cold / Spring passes by
• Stamping my seal / Just to order a beef bowl / In the winter cold
• Four days of waiting / Even the bugs in my stomach / Have lost their voices
• Resellers are gone / The counter is so quiet / Peace and emptiness
• Zero Trust beef bowl / Suspicion runs very deep / Like extra sauce broth
• Application form / Ink smudges on the paper / Mixed with my teardrops
• Dining permit raised / Slurping up the noodles now / The taste of the meat
• To get a beef bowl / A long and distant journey / Like filing taxes
• Hunger is the best / Spice for the meal I await / Under strict review
• Hard meat and tough rules / The shop that protects the law / Strict and unyielding

Kanji / Chinese Characters

BeefRiceShop22ndDay StrictScreeningSystemIntro IDCheckSealEssay FourDaysLaterEatPermit TurnoverRateRecordLow

Emoji

🐮📝🪪🚫👮‍♂️⏳🗓️🗓️🗓️🗓️🥣😋💀

Onomatopoeia

Silence… Scritch scratch (sound of writing with a pen) Thump (sound of stamping a seal) Growl… (sound of a stomach) Slap! (sound of documents being returned) Patter patter (sound of tears falling) Ding (microwave 4 days later)

SNS / Social Media

• #ZeroTrustBeefBowl
• Failed beef bowl screening, Japan die
• I wrote an 800-character essay but got rejected for grammar lol
• Another collab started while I was waiting 4 business days ww
• Seriously need a registered seal to eat beef bowl?
• Serves resellers right www but I can’t eat either www
• Got my Dining Permit! Now I can win
• High-consciousness beef bowl
• Security is so strong it looks like the shop is under DDoS attack
• #BekokakuShokudoSurvival