"That's Not Our Skin Color": Galactic Federation Sues Budget UFO Service Over Lookism

Exo-Commuter Inc.’s “UFO Commuting” service, which launched with fanfare on the 12th of this month connecting the city center with satellite cities via anti-gravity, is facing a crisis of survival just three days into service.

It was revealed on the 15th that the real Galactic Federation Legal Affairs Bureau has filed a lawsuit against the company in the Intergalactic Court. They claim that the alien-style costumes worn by the pilots constitute “egregious lookism and a violation of dignity as a species.”

The issue lies in the attire of the pilots for the saucer-type ride-share service, which the company introduced with the slogan “Commute in comfort with a space mood.”

Likely to cut costs, all pilots were wearing rubber “Grey Alien Masks” available at mass retailers and silver full-body tights.

Furthermore, during boarding announcements, they performed a routine of speaking with a staccato “Wa-re-wa-re-ha…” (We are…) while tapping their throats.

In response, Zalg Omega, the Galactic Federation’s Earth Resident Officer, held an emergency press conference and expressed his indignation.

“Our citizens’ skin is not just grey. It is rich in diversity: polychromatic, translucent, gaseous. Those cheap rubber masks are a mass of antiquated bias held by Earthlings on ‘how aliens should look,’ and represent typical Galactic Orientalism,” he strictly condemned.

Regarding the “Warewareha” vocalization, he also pointed out, “The throat vibration speech method is used only by residents of the remote Sector 9, and exaggerating and mimicking it qualifies as an insulting act (cultural appropriation) against a specific star system’s culture.”

Tatsuya Kamoshita, CEO of Exo-Commuter Inc., explained, “We just wanted to create a friendly atmosphere, there was no discriminatory intent,” but the situation continues to worsen.

On social media, criticism is flooding in with comments like “Indeed, those masks are too low-resolution” and “There is a lack of consideration for real aliens,” causing the company’s stock price to plummet to the daily limit low.

Meanwhile, the Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism has also chimed in, asking “Isn’t the UFO commuting business operating without a license in the first place?” leaving the company surrounded by enemies on all sides.

Experts suggest this disturbance could develop into a diplomatic issue with extraterrestrial civilizations.

“Earth companies need to extend their compliance awareness to a planetary level,” warns space sociologist Megumi Hoshino.

“For them, it’s like having our business suits lumped together as ‘Sa-la-ry-man’ and everyone cosplay wearing glasses and a seven-three part hairstyle. It is natural for them to feel offended.”

The Galactic Federation is demanding an apology and compensation, as well as mandatory “Interstellar Sensitivity Training” for all company employees.

This flame war was invited by the facile creation of “alien characters.”

Before flying saucers can freely fly in Earth’s skies, it seems a departure from the gravitational sphere of prejudice is required first.

Stakeholder Comments

• Zalg Omega (Galactic Federation Resident Officer): “The texture of that rubber mask is a blasphemy against our skin luster. If there is no apology, we will not hesitate to impose sanctions increasing Earth’s gravity by 1.5 times.”
• Tatsuya Kamoshita (CEO, Exo-Commuter Inc.): “It was the cheapest mask at Don Quijote… We didn’t have the budget… I never thought real ones were watching.”
• Commuter A (Male in 30s): “I took it because I was about to be late for work, but I was freaked out when the driver suddenly took off his mask and started prostrating himself.”
• Commuter B (Female in 20s): “Honestly, I thought the ‘Warewareha’ greeting was a bit Showa-era cringe. Modern aliens would just use translation apps, right?”
• Mask Manufacturer: “That shape is a traditional craft based on the 1947 Roswell model. If you call it discrimination, we’ll go out of business.”
• Human Rights Group Representative: “The lookism debate has finally transcended the galaxy. It’s a historic moment.”
• Lawyer (Space Law Specialist): “Jurisdiction will be a dispute. Japanese labor law or the Galactic Federation’s Species Dignity Act?”
• International Student from Alpha Centauri: “My eyes aren’t that big. Honestly, I’m fed up with Earthling stereotypes.”
• AI Analyst: “Flame risk undetermined. Input data does not contain ’emotions of real aliens’.”
• On-site UFO (Saucer-type machine): “Vwoom vwoom (I just want to fly, I don’t want to be grounded because of human circumstances).”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Space ride, one mask / Stars rage in anger above / Prejudice takes flight
• Is it bias now? / Silver tights have no sin here / Just poor fashion sense
• Grey skin is bias / Spring stars shine with colors bright / Not just monochrome
• “We are” throat tapping / The sound invites a lawsuit / Cultural misstep
• On the saucer’s glass / An apology posted / Sad commute today
• Diversity sought / To the ends of galaxy / Not just on the Earth
• Cheap mask peeled away / Just a sweaty employee / Reality bites
• Beyond the stars now / The backlash travels faster / Than light speed itself
• Commuting sky feels / Cramped under alien eyes / Watching from above
• Political correctness / The wave reaches the cosmos / Universe’s end

Kanji / Chinese Characters

• Galactic Federation Furious (銀河連邦激怒)
• Fake Alien Suit (偽装異星人訴)
• Budget Saucer Flames (格安円盤炎上)
• Throat Tap Greeting Insult (喉叩挨拶侮辱)
• Prejudice Face Ban (偏見面禁止令)

Emoji

🛸👽🙅‍♂️👮‍♂️🌌⚖️🗯️📉👔😓

Onomatopoeia

• Kyuinn (Flight sound)… Shiin (Silence in the press conference room).
• Gata gata (CEO trembling).
• Pi pi pi pi (Translator sound).
• Don! (Sound of banging on a desk).
• Wa-re-wa-re-ha (Sound of tapping throat).
• Zawa… zawa… (Murmuring crowd).

SNS

• #UFOCommuteBacklash
• #GalacticFederationFurious
• Calling a mask discrimination? Space is too woke.
• “Warewareha” banned lol
• Exo Inc. is finished. How much is the compensation?
• Apparently real alien skin is super beautiful.
• #StopAlienFace
• Ride-share finally enters the era of interstellar trouble.
• Aliens care about PC too… felt a sense of affinity.
• The image of the pilot uncle taking off the mask was too surreal.