Economic Sanctions Spark Surge in "Caviar Refugees"; Riots Erupt Over Rationed Truffles Being "Wrong Origin"

Following the strengthening of economic sanctions by the international community, the “Gold Coast Heights” exclusive residential district for the wealthy is facing a severe shortage of supplies.

On the 11th, panic ensued among thousands of residents after the delivery of Beluga caviar and white truffles to the area completely stopped. According to local humanitarian aid organizations, residents are complaining of tremors resembling withdrawal symptoms, crying out for rescue saying “my tongue is drying out” and “I can’t breathe commoner air.”

The “Grand Oasis,” a super-luxury hotel designated as a shelter, has been flooded with wealthy individuals driven from their homes. However, the chaos at the scene shows no sign of subsiding. When the International Red Cross distributed emergency rations of A5-rank Matsusaka beef, a riot broke out when the evacuee representatives rejected it in a rage, shouting, “The marbling is BMS 10, not 12. Is this livestock feed?”

In the lobby, a succession of madams fainted from despair because the distributed champagne was “0.5 degrees warmer than the optimal temperature,” and mental health care in the temporary medical tents cannot keep up.

Viewing the situation gravely, the United Nations decided to urgently deploy the “United Nations Sommelier Force (UNSF)” as part of peacekeeping operations. However, the first unit to arrive added fuel to the fire by bringing “Second Label” Bordeaux red wine. Residents began throwing gold bars instead of stones, shouting “Are you trying to insult us?”, forcing the unit to withdraw. The UN Secretary-General announced in an emergency press conference, “To protect their dignity, we will airlift Dom Pérignon P2 immediately,” but there is no prospect of securing the funding.

In the local black market, inflation is accelerating. Now that official routes are cut off, a single can of genuine foie gras is valued equivalent to a condo in the city center, and even empty caviar tins are traded at high prices just “to smell the scent.” One investor said with a haggard expression, “I have assets, but nothing to eat. Yesterday, I was forced to eat domestic farmed eel, and I thought I would die from the muddy smell.”

Sociologist Mr. Tomita-Bourgeois points out, “For them, luxury is the survival instinct itself. A drop in quality means death.” Meanwhile, angry voices are rising from ordinary citizens in surrounding areas, saying “You’re lucky to get rations at all” and “Give us that Wagyu,” but these voices do not reach the walled residential district. The “Caviar Refugees” deepen their isolation. When they face true starvation—namely, the “absence of a three-star chef”—the humanitarian crisis will reach its final phase.

Stakeholder Comments

• Affected wealthy male: “Risotto without the scent of truffles is just mixed rice. This is torture!”
• Shelter volunteer: “When asked for ‘water’, I served mineral water, but they threw it in my face saying the hardness was wrong.”
• UN Sommelier Force Captain: “It’s harsher than a battlefield. Just get the vintage wrong by one year, and they close in on you with demonic expressions.”
• Black market broker: “Even expired caviar sells higher than diamonds here. I can’t stop laughing.”
• Red Cross staff: “I tried to distribute blankets, but they refused saying ‘my skin gets rough if it’s not cashmere’. I think they should just freeze.”
• Local supermarket manager: “I tried to offer unsold imported beef, but the health department stopped me saying ‘it could be a deadly poison for the wealthy’.”
• A5 Rank Wagyu (Personified): “You look at my marbling and call it ‘coarse’? The texture of your skin is far coarser.”
• French government official: “We will send wine as humanitarian aid, but Grand Cru classes are reserved for our own citizens. Make do with Cru Bourgeois.”
• Representative of commoners: “Riots? I saw it on the news, but they were rioting elegantly with forks and knives, I thought it was a skit.”
• Pet Poodle: “Master is in a panic, and my food went from supreme pâté to just high-class pâté. The world is ending, woof.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Caviar gone now / On the plate only saltiness / Of my falling tears
• Marbling is coarse / Such complaints echo loudly / In the shelter site
• Harder than war zones / Is the taste of warm champagne / For these refugees
• On refugee hands / Rolex watches are ticking / Waiting for rations
• Truffle scent is gone / Winter comes for the wealthy / Cold and odorless
• Rioting debris / Is not stones but heavy bars / Of solid pure gold
• Sommelier mistake / Causes a thunderous roar / Of anger and rage
• Five star tragedy / Refugee camp of richness / Sadness in velvet
• Tongues are so refined / Never knowing hunger’s bite / Pitiful people
• Chains of luxury / Heavy weight on winter nights / Burdening the soul

Kanji / Chinese Characters

Wealthy District Supply Cut Supreme Ingredients Depletion Crisis Rationed Wagyu Fat Lack Refused UN Brewed Liquor Unit Dispatched Vintage Designation Error Chaos Humanitarian Crisis Deepens

Emoji

🍾🚫😱💸🥩📉😭🇺🇳🍷👮‍♂️💢🏨🆘

Onomatopoeia

Rustle rustle (sound of silk rubbing), Clink clink (sound of high-class tableware). Oh ho ho! (Dry high-pitched laughter), Sob sob… (Elegant crying). Crash! (Sound of Baccarat glass breaking), Thud (Sound of slamming bundles of cash). Hmph (Sound of turning away), Whisper whisper. Ugh… (Speechless), Ding (Sound of life ending).

SNS

• #CaviarCrisis
• The rationed Wagyu was so tough my jaw dislocated. I’m suing.
• What is the UN doing? My vintage hasn’t arrived yet!
• #PrayForBillionaires
• The shelter sheets are under 1000 thread count, I can’t sleep. Hell.
• Sommelier unit is incompetent lol trying to make us drink ‘98?
• A luxury disease named #HumanitarianCrisis
• Apparently photos of commoner food are the most effective mental attack
• Would they get mad if I sent cup noodles as relief supplies?
• The most elegant riot in the world right now