Movie Theater Introduces "30x Speed Screening" for Gen Z: 2-Hour Blockbuster Ends Before Instant Noodles Are Ready

Japan’s largest cinema complex, “Galaxy Cinemas,” launched a new service called “Lightning Theater” nationwide on the 27th, targeting a customer base—primarily Gen Z—that prioritizes “Time Performance” (Tai-pa).

This plan, which finishes a typically 2-hour blockbuster in just 4 minutes, is characterized by a sense of speed where the end credits roll almost simultaneously with the start of the screening.

At a preview event held by the company in Tokyo, an Academy Award-nominated human drama (148 minutes) was screened.

Less than 5 minutes after the “Screening Start” announcement, when the lights went up, thunderous applause erupted from the audience along with comments like “That was long” and “It dragged in the middle.”

On the screen, the actors’ expressions became indistinguishable flashing lights, and moving lines were converted into high-frequency noise sounding like “kyurukyuru” (fast-forwarding tape), yet audience satisfaction is reportedly extremely high.

“Movies are not something to ‘watch’ but something to ‘consume’.”

Kakeru Hayami, General Manager of the Planning and Development Department, asserts this.

“Modern people are busy. Being tied down for 2 hours is nothing but pain. What they seek is not emotion, but the established fact of ‘having seen that talked-about movie’ and the qualification to participate in topic sharing on SNS. We provide that ‘achievement unlocking’ in the shortest possible time.”

To meet this need, smartphone use is officially recommended inside the theater, and QR codes for “Complete Spoiler Collection up to the Ending” are installed on the seats.

The arrangement is for the audience to check the synopsis on their smartphones while bathing in the high-speed flashing in front of them, and to post “I cried 😭 #Best” simultaneously with the end of the screening.

Naturally, criticism such as “It’s a blasphemy” is flooding in from traditional movie fans and creators.

A certain master director raged, “The ‘ma’ (pause) and ’lingering memory’ I created have been reduced to mere unpleasant strobe signals,” but the company dismissed this, saying, “‘Ma’ is the enemy of Time Performance.”

Furthermore, the concession stand menu has been completely revamped.

Responding to voices saying chewing time is a waste, popcorn has been changed to “Sniff Corn” which is inhaled as fine powder, and drinks to “Intravenous Soda” which injects high-concentration caffeine directly into blood vessels, aiming to maximize viewing efficiency.

Experts analyze this phenomenon as the “North Pole of content consumption.”

Professor Tokimijika (Time-Short), a social psychologist, points out, “It is a symbol of a modern disease that skips the process and desires only the result. This acceleration will probably not stop until technology to ‘implant memories in the brain the moment a ticket is bought’ is created.”

In fact, the company is rumored to be developing an “Instant Kill Plan” with a screening time of 0 seconds as the next step.

It is said to be a mechanism where a hypnotic voice saying “You feel like you’ve finished watching it” plays at the same time as ticket payment.

The young people who finished the 4-minute screening left the theater with fulfilled expressions, holding instant noodles that were still steaming.

The content of the movie is not reflected in their eyes even a bit, but only the light of approval called “Likes” on SNS is shining.

The space called a movie theater seems to have transformed into a giant server room where people fiddle with smartphones while bathed in a shower of light and sound.

Stakeholder Comments

• University Student (20s): “Honestly, 4 minutes is pretty long. TikTok has a punchline in 15 seconds. But I can keep up with my friends’ conversations, so the cost-performance is god-tier.”
• Movie Director (Anonymous): “I heard the last scene I carved my soul into ended in a 0.3-second flash. If it’s like this, they should just screen a QR code from the beginning.”
• Galaxy Cinemas Manager: “Since there’s no need to maintain silence, the sound of eating potato chips bag and all, and TikTok notification sounds are free. This has become a free space named ‘Movie Theater’.”
• Ophthalmologist: “Staring directly at 30x speed flashing may cause not only eye strain but also hallucinations where space-time looks distorted. Medically, I recommend not looking directly at it.”
• Popcorn Stand Clerk: “Since switching to inhalation-type popcorn, cleaning the floor has become easier. Everyone inhales it through their nose so they don’t spill it.”
• Action Actor: “I heard all my stunts became afterimages. Well, nobody will notice if I get injured, so it’s fine.”
• Old-school Movie Fan: “I used to immerse myself in the afterglow of the end credits, but now the end credits are so fast they look like a barcode. When I scanned it, it was a discount coupon.”
• “Spoiler Collection” Editor: “Knowing the ending before watching the movie is manners. Eliminating the stress of surprise in advance is modern kindness.”
• Theater Seat: “The customers change every 4 minutes, so my cushion has no time to get warm.”
• God of Time: “Humans think they are saving me, but they are just watching other videos at double speed with the saved time. Pitiful hamsters.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Movie ends / Sound of draining hot water / At the same time
• Skipping screens / Knowing the story is / Phone in hand
• Dream of spring / Two-hour picture scatters / In a second
• Popcorn / Sound of inhaling / Fast forward
• Emotion is / Left in the log / Eyes don’t see
• Speed-up’s / Noise shower / Movie theater
• Tai-pa named / Demon eats / The silver screen
• Even lovers / If you blink / Become old folks
• End roll / Peeling barcode / Spring gale
• Masterpiece too / Falls faster than / An hourglass

Kanji / Chinese Characters

• ProjectionRoomLightSpeedFlashing
• TwoHourStoryFourMinuteCondensation
• AudienceAllStaringAtMobilePhones
• ContentIrrelevantAchievementUnlockPriority
• CulturalConsumptionNorthPoleIndeed

Emoji

🎬⏩⏩⚡️👀❌📱✅🍜⏱️4️⃣🆗😭👍

Onomatopoeia

• Kyurukyurukyuru! (Fast forwarding sound)
• Bababababa! (Rapid fire sound)
• Pika-pika, Chika-chika! (Flashing lights)
• Zuzuzu (Sound of inhaling popcorn)
• Piron, Poron (Notification sounds)
• Kasha (Shutter sound of “Watched” proof photo)

SNS

• #30xSpeedScreening #AtTheMovies #MovedIn4Minutes
• Watched the hot new release! Don’t know the content but cried (pretend) lol
• Sunglasses are essential because eyes flicker 😎
• Sniff Corn powder got in my nose and I choked, never mind the movie
• Being able to use smartphone in the theater is too awesome, this is the Reiwa viewing style
• At 30x speed, action scenes are just color violence
• The turnover rate after screening is insane, no time to go to the bathroom
• Reading spoilers before watching gives a different sense of security~
• The matter where it ends up being a place to pay ticket price to go look at smartphone
• Feel like living in a rush seeking Tai-pa too much, but that’s Good