Domestic "500 Yen Coin" Disappearance: Husband Claims "Phototaxis to Shiny Objects" Denying Primate Responsibility

On the 1st, a “Currency Evaporation Incident” occurred in a general household in Tokyo, where a single 500-yen coin suddenly disappeared from a shared piggy bank installed in the living room.

The husband (38), secured as a suspect, admitted to the fact that the coin was illicitly remitted to a nearby convenience store and money-laundered into high-calorie western confectionery, but regarding the motive for the crime, he claimed it was “force majeure triggered by phototaxis (Phototaxis), similar to insects moving towards light.”

He is making an unusual defense that squarely denies human free will.

According to the investigation, the husband stated that at around noon, his consciousness whited out the moment sunlight reflected off the side of the 500-yen coin peeking from the slot of the piggy bank.

“The moment my retina captured the intense silver photons, my legs went into automatic control mode and passed through the automatic door of 7-Eleven. This is exactly the same biological mechanism as moths gathering at streetlights,” he said, emphasizing that his actions were not a judgment by the cerebral neocortex but a reflex action at the spinal cord level.

The whereabouts of the laundered funds have already disappeared into the husband’s stomach as “Premium Custard Choux” and “Melting Double Pudding,” and complete destruction of evidence has been attempted.

Regarding this, the husband insisted, with custard cream still attached to his mouth, “Metamorphosis into sugar is part of life support activities, and there is no reason to be held legally responsible.”

It seems he has taken a tactic to escape the pursuit of domestic justice by unilaterally downgrading his legal status from “responsible adult male” to “instinct-obedient arthropod.”

In response to this claim, the wife (36), who also serves as the Chief Justice of the Domestic Supreme Court and Minister of Finance, immediately handed down a sentence.

She concluded, “If the husband voluntarily abandons being a primate and claims identity as a lower life form, dialogue based on human rights and budget allocation are unnecessary.”

In addition to a complete freezing (asset freeze) of this month’s 30,000 yen pocket money, she issued an emergency measure to change the dinner menu to content equivalent to “insect cage feed,” such as cabbage cores and cucumber ends, for the time being.

An expert familiar with behavioral biology points out, “Although phototaxis to 500-yen coins has not been academically confirmed, ‘sugar-taxis’ to convenience store sweets is a phenomenon widely seen in middle-aged males.”

The husband is currently sitting in the corner of the living room holding his knees, repeatedly muttering “The light is bad, I am not bad” in a voice like the buzzing of wings.

A modern transformation story where the magical power of a shining coin caused a man to degenerate from human to insect. Will the day come when domestic peace emerges again?

Stakeholder Comments

• Husband (38): “That wasn’t a 500-yen coin. It was a beacon calling me. Before I knew it, I was holding a spoon.”
• Wife (36): “If he displays ‘phototaxis’ next time, I will set off a Valsan (insecticide).”
• Convenience Store Clerk: “Customer, his eyes were completely gone. I was scared because he handed over change saying ‘auau’ at the register.”
• 500 Yen Coin (Victim): “It’s my sin for shining too much. But it was dark and boring inside the piggy bank, so I wanted to go on a journey.”
• Premium Custard Choux: “I am honored to become one with him. I will live on forever as calories.”
• Biologist: “This is rude to insects. They live much more systematically.”
• Moth gathering at streetlight: “Don’t lump us together with him. We risk our lives, but he just wanted to eat something sweet.”
• Piggy Bank: “I will not forget the humiliation of having my exit widened.”
• Ministry of Finance Official: “The outflow of domestic currency is a microcosm of the country. Strict fiscal austerity is necessary.”
• Insecticide Manufacturer: “We will consider developing human-sized insecticide spray.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Drawn by brilliance / The man became a moth now / Sweet cream remains there
• Five hundred yen gone / Only cream remains behind / Sweet taste in the mouth
• Wife’s eyes are so cold / Colder than the ice age now / Freezing all assets
• Phototaxis plea / Using it as an excuse / The sin is heavy
• To convenience store / Heading with no mind at all / Even without wings
• Money laundering / Deep inside the stomach now / Darkness is profound
• Piggy bank is light / Becoming lighter today / Under winter sky
• Treated like a bug / Receiving insect treatment / Dinner is scraps now
• Yukichi flies away / Coins are also leaving now / Loneliness remains
• Reflecting the light / Stealing will away from him / Silver moon above

Kanji / Chinese Characters

• Husband Robs Five Hundred
• Self Proclaimed Insect Phototaxis
• Shiny Silver Brain Impact
• Sweet Transform Instant Intake
• Wife Furious Rights Strip
• Allowance Freeze Feed Life

Emoji

✨🪙👀➡️🧟‍♂️➡️🏪➡️🍰🤤➡️👩‍⚖️💢➡️💸❄️➡️🐛🥗

Onomatopoeia

• Sparkle!
• Wobble wobble…
• Snap open (Wallet)
• Clink (Register)
• Chomp, munch munch.
• Silence… (Living room)
• Rumble rumble (Wife’s aura)
• Smack! (Sentence)
• Droop…

SNS

• #CaseOfHusbandBecomingInsect
• Phototaxis to 500 yen coin is such a power word lol
• My husband is also drawn to convenience store lights, what is this
• Money laundering destination being cream puffs is hilarious
• #DomesticCourt
• Will you quit humanity or quit sweets?
• Wife’s sanction being “insect feed” is too sensible
• Is it crows or husbands that are weak to shiny things?
• Failed metamorphosis example
• Someone bring insecticide