The International Astronomical Union (IAU) has sold the naming rights of a newly discovered comet to a major food corporation. Named "C/2025 T1 Seafood," the comet triggers sponsor payments to the discoverer's account each time it is observed by NASA telescopes. The astronomical community welcomes the move as "a way to increase research funding."
In a remote mountain village on the verge of extinction, the priorities of lifelines have been reversed. While the power grid restoration remains undecided, only the charging station for drones delivering warm bento boxes is running on emergency power. Gathering around dinner under the delivery lamp's light has become the residents' new normal.
In the much-talked-about 'Phantom Butter' lottery campaign, products failed to arrive to winners as expected. Instead, butter was directly applied to toast and TV remote controls, causing a bizarre incident. Social media was flooded with reports such as 'I woke up to find my bread toasted' and 'My pet is covered in butter.' The manufacturer commented that it is 'a future food distribution system that doesn't burden customers,' further fueling confusion.
The city council, aiming to become the galaxy's premier tourist destination, has decided to establish Earth's first UFO-exclusive parking lot. While the first 30 minutes are free, fines will be imposed for overtime, and severe cases will result in towing. Citizens are complaining, 'There's not even parking space for my light truck.'
A wealthy man lost a $500 avocado in his garden, which was found by state military helicopter, but the owner declared 'This is no longer life' as it was just 3 minutes past its peak ripeness. He immediately began a live stream titled 'Gratitude Return to Earth,' with viewers flooding donations as it transformed into premium fertilizer.
The government's new economic plan involves equipping all citizens with consumption monitoring anklets and forcibly sending them to designated "Stone Theme Parks." Only purchases of stone goods are permitted within venues, and walking is prohibited. "Sit and Buy" becomes the new slogan, with "#OnlyStoneWins" trending on social media.
A new product promising 'lunar-light walking' has become a social problem. The 'ultra-light repulsion particles' inside the sandals excessively cancel body weight, causing hikers to unintentionally drift skyward. Mountain rescue teams nationwide have added giant butterfly nets to their standard equipment to catch wind-blown victims.
The Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare has added the national ice pop 'Gari-Gari-kun' to the prescription drug list as a trump card against heat stroke. Patients can receive them at pharmacies with a doctor's prescription, but the ministry warns that 'winner sticks' for free pops are considered 'temporary income' and trigger tax obligations.
The latest AI-powered "Sea Anemone Translator" has transformed a peaceful aquarium into chaos. The translations reveal nothing but malicious gossip: "Has that orange guy gotten fat lately?" "Isn't the heater particularly harsh on just me?" Users report psychological distress, prompting the developer to promise an emergency "Privacy Mode" update. Meanwhile, the Marine Biology Linguistics Society praised the AI's accuracy, calling it "perfect down to the gossip's inflection."
Citizens exhausted from communication skills flood in. The Isolation Culture Association has declared a Tokyo bar as a fake embassy of the 'Nation of Solitude,' issuing passports with conversation exemption stamps on the spot. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs is perplexed, stating 'It's not even travel on paper.'