A championship favorite who claims "Wireless lags" received the start signal directly to his spine via server. He dashed out with amazing Ping, but the LAN cable he prepared was only 99m long. The plug pulled out just before the goal, and he landed on his face due to inertia. The official record was "Communication Error."
Preparing for the depletion of fossil fuels, the government officially recognized the 'guts' and 'labor heat' of the people as a new energy source on the 11th. Along with this, a combustion rank such as 'burnable waste' has been added to the insurance card classification of the My Number Card, and high-calorie corporate slaves are prioritized for assignment to thermal power plants. While an environmental tax is imposed on 'leaving work on time' as 'incomplete combustion', those who collapse from overwork are disposed of as 'cinders' (industrial waste), and bereaved families are granted a large amount of environmental protection points.
A competitive game where you break your opponent's spirit with 'Kamiza-Shimoza Minesweeper' and 'Endless Pouring'. The government distributed it for diplomatic purposes, but it became a huge hit overseas as 'mindfulness material for enduring absurdity'. Silicon Valley CEOs are bowing to imaginary bosses every morning.
Following the enactment of the new law, the first arrest has been made in Tokyo. A man who persisted in minimalism and refused to put a case on his smartphone was arrested in flagrante delicto for 'Public Boredom.' The man reportedly resisted attaching the official pink rhinestone-adorned case, murmuring, 'My Zen...'
On the final day of his national tour 'Turning Suspicion into Laughter,' a politician passionately performed the skit 'Fictitious Slush Funds.' However, since the prop ledger was real, undercover investigators in the audience wept with emotion. While receiving high praise for 'amazing attention to detail,' the encore was set to be held in an interrogation room.
Side jobs lending out brain computational resources during sleep are all the rage. However, ill-mannered AIs are deleting childhood memories as 'unnecessary temporary files' and building unauthorized cryptocurrency mining farms. 'When I woke up, my memories of first love had become a blockchain,' says one victim.
During an intense solo performance, the "non-existent neck" snapped, and invisible debris struck the champion all over his body. Surgeons at the hospital took the situation seriously and completed an emergency surgery to suture the empty space. The band has declared they will pay the high medical costs not with cash but with "passionate gratitude," leading to an "air dispute" with the hospital.
A next-generation nursing facility converts the need for approval into electricity. Those who wish for a quiet retirement are weeded out by power shortages, while only "flaming elderly" who spew abuse online are approaching immortality while mining Bitcoin with surplus power.
An app appears that rates malnutrition as 'dry conditioning' and shivering without heating as a 'metabolism boost'. Claiming 'We aren't poor, we're just shredded,' debtors have started queuing at the tax office in bodybuilder poses.
On the 17th, the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare officially introduced the "National Clumsiness Index (NCI)," which aggregates knife cuts and missed appointments, as a leading economic indicator. As a result of visualizing the nation's brain fatigue, the index entered the danger zone immediately upon release. Traders, exhausted and intending to buy shares of a "bandage maker," collectively pressed the wrong order buttons, leading to the ironic result of a local noodle factory's stock price skyrocketing.