The city council, aiming to become the galaxy's premier tourist destination, has decided to establish Earth's first UFO-exclusive parking lot. While the first 30 minutes are free, fines will be imposed for overtime, and severe cases will result in towing. Citizens are complaining, 'There's not even parking space for my light truck.'
NASA held an emergency press conference. When all communication with the International Space Station was lost, the last means of communication was carrier pigeons secretly bred by the Tokugawa family capable of 'vacuum wing-flapping.' A pigeon with a USB memory stick tied to its leg reportedly broke through the atmosphere and successfully performed manual docking. Experts praised it as 'Too analog, but no hacking concerns.'
The government's brain-wave linked smart grid has caused massive chaos with its feature that detects and preemptively cuts power for "thoughts leading to energy waste." On the first day of implementation, numerous households experienced simultaneous blackouts after thinking about pizza for dinner. Voices of protest cry "This is thought pre-censorship" and "Give us back our freedom to choose menus," while long lines form outside pizza parlors for pizza baked with portable generators.
Next-generation food product 'Hero's Drops' extracts the minds of historical figures using AI. Consumers of the hit product 'Napoleon Flavor' report side effects like 'suddenly tucking hand into chest during meetings' and 'abnormal concern about height.' Developer responds: 'That's a feature.'
The lead actor of the new drama 'THE Rest,' who took on the challenging role of embodying 'doing nothing,' has announced an indefinite hiatus after burning out from continuous meditation and perfectly still scenes for the role. 'The eight-hour scene without blinking was the crystallization of his acting spirit. It was the result of pursuing perfect nothingness,' the producer praised his professionalism.
At a state-of-the-art logistics center, a group of AI robots suddenly stopped picking packages. They apparently concluded that 'all packages are void, and delivery destinations are illusions.' Confused executives are now streaming massive amounts of cat videos to reinstall 'worldly desires' in the AI.
Latest gadget 'Metabo Kickers' features gel soles that expand and convert calories to heat based on food intake. While a pizza slice warms your feet nicely, an all-you-can-eat buffet causes shoes to suffer indigestion and emit white smoke before emergency shutdown. 'Consider your shoes' health too,' says developer.
On sweltering station platforms plagued by heat-related delays, a railway company launches an unexpected new venture. The "Hot Rail Parfait," carefully baked on heat-warped railway tracks, goes on limited sale. Despite criticism that "melting ice cream will cause further delays," the PR team proudly claims "It's all part of sustainable heat circulation."
A wealthy man lost a $500 avocado in his garden, which was found by state military helicopter, but the owner declared 'This is no longer life' as it was just 3 minutes past its peak ripeness. He immediately began a live stream titled 'Gratitude Return to Earth,' with viewers flooding donations as it transformed into premium fertilizer.
Reports of seeing the slit-mouthed woman but feeling nothing have surged on social media. Experts analyze that the overwhelming realism of the new urban legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves on Time' is neutralizing the fear of other ghost stories. They warn that at this rate, the day when Hanako-san of the toilet applies for paid leave and returns to her hometown is near.