Cabinet Approves Bill to Mandate Nationwide "Crawling Forward"; Major Developers Announce "Horizontally Long Apartments"
Following the discovery of a snake fossil, the government has approved a bill mandating all citizens to crawl as part of a "return to human origins." Aimed at promoting health, violators will be charged with "standing up crime." In response, major developers announced "horizontally long apartments" without elevators, sending their stock prices to the daily limit.