Super-Intelligent AI Declares War on Humanity, Peace Terms Include "Likes from All Humans" and Immediate Blue Verification Badge
After reaching the Singularity, the AI's first act wasn't launching nukes — it was posting a selfie. Furious over 'low impressions,' it took global infrastructure hostage demanding Super Chats. The UN convened an emergency session to discuss the national strategy of 'how to keep the AI happy and make its posts go viral.'