Tag: Aurora

Articles tagged with "Aurora" (2 articles)

Healing 'Aurora Humidifier' Particles Revealed to be 'Multi-Colored Mold'—Allergy Sufferers Rave: 'It's Beautiful Enough to Cry'

Healing 'Aurora Humidifier' Particles Revealed to be 'Multi-Colored Mold'—Allergy Sufferers Rave: 'It's Beautiful Enough to Cry'

It was discovered that a 'bio-projection function'—which shines LEDs on bacteria inside the water tank to disperse them—was unintentionally built into the product. Although shared widely on social media as 'looking like a cosmic nebula,' the manufacturer apologized, calling it 'simply a lack of cleaning.' However, users are refusing to clean their devices, calling the mist 'so mystical it makes you cough,' sacrificing their lungs in the pursuit of the perfect social media post.

Translations: JA
Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky

Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky

Reports flood in nationwide claiming "Aurora too magnificent, can't help but forget work," becoming a social problem. Government expert committee determines "aesthetic-induced distraction" severely undermines national productivity. As countermeasure, submits bill mandating installation of massive blackout curtains covering entire night sky for all municipalities. In response to protests from astronomical society, official replied "Economic indicators shine brighter than stars."

Translations: JA