Mammoth Has 20,000-Year Deferred Pension Seized Upon Thawing; Pension Service Cites "Confirmed Survival"
A woolly mammoth revived from Siberian permafrost had its entire pension seized at the counter immediately after applying to receive benefits deferred over 20,000 years. The Pension Service explained, "Because your survival has been confirmed, retroactive levies on unpaid premiums are incurred." The giant beast, dreaming of a massive retirement fund, is left dazedly chewing on the blue pension handbook handed to it.