Tag: Bureaucracy

Articles tagged with "Bureaucracy" (13 articles)

Mammoth Meat Buns Halted for Sale: Classified as "Unidentified Meat" Under Food Sanitation Law. Official Says "No Precedent"

Mammoth Meat Buns Halted for Sale: Classified as "Unidentified Meat" Under Food Sanitation Law. Official Says "No Precedent"

The trump card for local revitalization, "Mammoth Meat Buns," was halted on the very first day of sales. According to the health department, mammoths do not fall under beef, pork, or poultry as defined by food sanitation law, and therefore "safety cannot be guaranteed due to unclassifiable meat." The town official is at a loss, saying, "I never imagined the law hadn't been updated since the Ice Age."

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab
Seized 300-Yen Fan Discovered Capable of Forcing Entire Cabinet to Resign at Maximum Power

Seized 300-Yen Fan Discovered Capable of Forcing Entire Cabinet to Resign at Maximum Power

A bargain fan that went viral on e-commerce sites has been confiscated as a "weather weapon" threatening national security. Authorities confirmed its ability to generate localized cyclones at maximum power and rapidly lower atmospheric pressure around the National Diet Building. "Critical legislation could literally blow away," the Chief Cabinet Secretary warned.

Translations: JA
Daily Surprise
Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky

Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky

Reports flood in nationwide claiming "Aurora too magnificent, can't help but forget work," becoming a social problem. Government expert committee determines "aesthetic-induced distraction" severely undermines national productivity. As countermeasure, submits bill mandating installation of massive blackout curtains covering entire night sky for all municipalities. In response to protests from astronomical society, official replied "Economic indicators shine brighter than stars."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

A fossilized "park usage permit application form" submitted in the early Heisei era was discovered in the basement archive of city hall. While experts marvel at this "miraculous specimen fossilized by the pressure of countless 'pending' stamps from officials," the city's department issued an official statement: "This is a case inherited from our predecessors. It remains under strict review, and we cannot yet reach a conclusion."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Single Misplaced Kyoho Grape Erases Star System" Cabinet Office Appoints 3-Year-Old as Special Minister

"Single Misplaced Kyoho Grape Erases Star System" Cabinet Office Appoints 3-Year-Old as Special Minister

The discovery that a 3-year-old's game of rearranging grapes on the dining table determines the rise and fall of interdimensional civilizations has prompted the government to treat this as a serious diplomatic issue, establishing the "Cosmic Grape Arrangement Security Office." The toddler minister simply stated "eat all" upon appointment, sending new tensions through diplomatic channels.

Translations: JA
Otherworld Pocket
Mystery Object in Orbit Identified as Lost Government Cabinet from the 80s. Government: 'It's a Piggy Bank for the Future'

Mystery Object in Orbit Identified as Lost Government Cabinet from the 80s. Government: 'It's a Piggy Bank for the Future'

The mysterious periodic signal that has puzzled astronomers for years has been identified as a rolling approval seal (hanko) waiting for authorization inside a government cabinet orbiting the Earth. The government explained it as 'a grand experimental demonstration for future administrative efficiency. We were observing the stagnation of approval processes through the way the seals roll.'

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Stomp the Sea Down": New National Project Causes International Incident with Tsunami Side Effects

"Stomp the Sea Down": New National Project Causes International Incident with Tsunami Side Effects

As the final answer to rising sea levels, the government has activated the "Grand Sumo Terraforming" plan, gathering sumo wrestlers on a gigantic floating dohyo in the Pacific to collectively perform shiko stomps and push down the ocean floor. While the minister in charge boasts that "Japan's spirit will save the Earth," the resulting artificial tsunami washed away Hawaiian beaches, escalating into a diplomatic crisis.

Translations: JA
Social Lab