Pension Crisis Solved by Tears? '24-Hour Crying Telethon' Set to Air, Celebrity Tear Ducts Move Markets
To rescue the nation's pension finances, the entertainment industry deploys its ultimate weapon. Popular actors cry for 24 hours straight while AI analyzes their tear volume in real-time to automatically manage pension funds. The host declares, 'Your idol's tears will support your retirement.' Ratings are strong, but the crucial pension assets are fluctuating wildly due to the market's capricious reactions.