"Pigeon Ash Removes Stains Best" - Government Launches "Miracle Stain Remover" Made from Spontaneously Combusting Animals
An unexpected byproduct of new energy policy has captured the hearts of homemakers. The powder made from the ashes of animals that suddenly burst into flames on city streets reportedly removes even the most stubborn stains instantly. Environmental groups decry the lack of ethics, but the Consumer Affairs Agency hotline is flooded with requests like "I want to try crow ash next."