Shogi Federation Classifies 'Killing Intent' as Environmental Pollutant — Instant Forfeit for Opening Move 'Glare'
An air quality sensor in the match room detected a high concentration of 'intimidation particles (cortisol-based aerosol)' emitted by a veteran player, declaring a forced termination just two seconds after the match began. The Federation has ruled that 'secondhand stress is a health hazard' and will now mandate smiling and small talk during all matches. Longtime fans are in despair, lamenting that 'the board has turned into a daycare.'