Year-End Cleaning 'Cat Paw' Dispatch Reports 0% Progress, Program to Continue — All Dispatched Cats on Strike Over 'Cardboard Inspection'
A new system to provide cats to citizens who 'want to borrow a cat's paw' collapsed in its first year. At every household, dispatched cats hostile toward vacuum cleaners and illegally occupying sorting cardboard boxes have caused incidents. The city announced that 'rooms remain dirty but citizen happiness is at an all-time high,' and is moving to legally redefine cleaning as 'laundering of the soul.'