Tag: Satire

Articles tagged with "Satire" (33 articles)

"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

A fossilized "park usage permit application form" submitted in the early Heisei era was discovered in the basement archive of city hall. While experts marvel at this "miraculous specimen fossilized by the pressure of countless 'pending' stamps from officials," the city's department issued an official statement: "This is a case inherited from our predecessors. It remains under strict review, and we cannot yet reach a conclusion."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"True Hero" Emits Black Smoke with Every Special Attack. Power Source Revealed to be Diesel Engine

"True Hero" Emits Black Smoke with Every Special Attack. Power Source Revealed to be Diesel Engine

Flamingo Finance Co., Ltd. announced on the 14th the new hero 'Captain Fact,' whose weapon is a "Truth Beam" that eliminates all misinformation. However, its power source is an old-fashioned diesel engine, and every time the beam is fired, the film studio is enveloped in black smoke. Furthermore, it has been revealed that the ultimate weapon to defeat the arch-nemesis "Mosquito of Inconvenient Truth" is a "super-strong insecticide spray," raising questions about the hero's environmental awareness.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion
"Space Fan" Solution for Air Pollution: Government Allocates Entire National Budget to Remote Control Asteroids

"Space Fan" Solution for Air Pollution: Government Allocates Entire National Budget to Remote Control Asteroids

The government announced on the 14th a plan to use asteroids as "space fans" to eliminate domestic smog. The minister in charge appeared at a press conference holding a giant remote control, smiling and explaining, "Operation is simple. 'Low' creates a gentle breeze, 'Turbo' can generate a typhoon." Unconfirmed reports suggest that the first operational test caused all laundry from a neighboring country to fly across the border.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
University Entrance Exam to Include "How to Defeat Slimes" Starting Next Year. Physics Students Can Opt for "Golem Weakness Analysis" Instead

University Entrance Exam to Include "How to Defeat Slimes" Starting Next Year. Physics Students Can Opt for "Golem Weakness Analysis" Instead

The Ministry of Education announced a "true global education" initiative in response to the increase in returnees from other worlds. Prep schools have already launched preparatory courses, with headlines proclaiming "Legendary Sword Essential for Tokyo University Admission." Parents are expressing concerns: "My child still struggles with Goblin language listening comprehension..."

Translations: JA
Otherworld Pocket
"I Thought I Was Going to Die" Heart Rate Graph Wins Contemporary Art Award. Bear Demands Credit as "Co-Creator"

"I Thought I Was Going to Die" Heart Rate Graph Wins Contemporary Art Award. Bear Demands Credit as "Co-Creator"

A man who narrowly escaped a bear encounter receives an unexpected sequel. The terrifying heart rate graph recorded by his dropped smart water bottle has won the Contemporary Art Grand Prize as a "digitized cry of life." While the jury praises it as "despair not seen since Picasso," a lawyer claiming to represent the bear has begun demanding rights as a co-creator and half of the prize money.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope
Poverty Survivor Game Update Adds "Noble Mode" - Players Score Points by Throwing Bread at the Poor in Cruel But Popular Feature

Poverty Survivor Game Update Adds "Noble Mode" - Players Score Points by Throwing Bread at the Poor in Cruel But Popular Feature

Flamingo Finance Inc. announced on the 14th their hit smartphone game "Poverty Survivor" now features "Noble Mode" where players can play from a wealthy perspective. Players score points by throwing bread at starving NPCs from a carriage and judging their reactions. The developer claims "educational intent to teach the difficulty of charity," but #NobleHobby is trending on social media.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion
New Power Grid Censors Thoughts: Blackouts Triggered by Simply Thinking "Pizza Tonight" Sparks Controversy

New Power Grid Censors Thoughts: Blackouts Triggered by Simply Thinking "Pizza Tonight" Sparks Controversy

The government's brain-wave linked smart grid has caused massive chaos with its feature that detects and preemptively cuts power for "thoughts leading to energy waste." On the first day of implementation, numerous households experienced simultaneous blackouts after thinking about pizza for dinner. Voices of protest cry "This is thought pre-censorship" and "Give us back our freedom to choose menus," while long lines form outside pizza parlors for pizza baked with portable generators.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
New Urban Legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves Exactly on Time' Makes the Slit-Mouthed Woman Look Like Just Another Mask-Wearing Beauty

New Urban Legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves Exactly on Time' Makes the Slit-Mouthed Woman Look Like Just Another Mask-Wearing Beauty

Reports of seeing the slit-mouthed woman but feeling nothing have surged on social media. Experts analyze that the overwhelming realism of the new urban legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves on Time' is neutralizing the fear of other ghost stories. They warn that at this rate, the day when Hanako-san of the toilet applies for paid leave and returns to her hometown is near.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope