AI Analysis: "Annual Income and 'Number of Apologies' are Perfectly Inversely Proportional," the Shortest Path to Success is "Amnesia"
An AI that analyzed the behavioral logs of top global leaders has concluded that the biggest bottleneck preventing promotion is "conscience." Successful individuals instantaneously and automatically convert memories of their own failures into "others' mistakes" within their brains, a brain function the AI has named "Smart Scapegoating." The developer has begun distributing a plugin for general employees that automatically rewrites disciplinary reports into prestigious, lengthy texts claiming "it was an act of god."