Articles tagged with "SDGs" (8 articles)
'Weekend hero shows are just massacres.' Demanding a ban on explosive finishing moves for Sustainable Domination Goals (SDGs). Until certified, all monsters will shift to telework and destroy the city using Zoom virtual backgrounds.
Despite rumors of "exhaust gas contamination," the 20,000 yen "Morning Mist Terrine" sold out completely. Guests took photos of empty plates with their smartphones, tearing up and saying, "It tastes like rich nothingness." The organizer boasts it as "the ultimate form of SDGs," but trash cans at the venue were overflowing with wrappers of convenience store rice balls eaten in secret.
The government approved the 'Spiritual Resource Utilization Special Measures Act' on the 5th, positioning physical movements from paranormal phenomena as 'inexhaustible domestic energy.' Exorcised properties are now heavily taxed as 'non-eco,' and households where plates don't fly at midnight can barely charge their smartphones. Currently, 'special-grade cursed objects' are being traded on Mercari at three times their original price in an abnormal rush to secure electricity.
"Disposable passwords are not eco-friendly." Families secretly passing down 'password123' like a secret sauce recipe from grandfather's era are rapidly increasing. Security companies have declared the vulnerability "a traditional craft of cultural value" and designated it as an important cultural property.
In a model city touting ultimate energy efficiency where "chimneys" have been completely abolished, Santas attempting Christmas deliveries tried to squeeze through 10cm-diameter "high-efficiency ventilation ducts," resulting in dozens getting stuck inside walls. After weighing rescue costs against environmental performance, city authorities specially registered the stuck Santas as "high-performance filler" under building codes. Resident complaints about "groaning sounds from the walls" are being explained away as "a smart speaker bug that will be updated immediately."
"One per household, the piggy bank of the future"—A plastic-eating life form discovered in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch has exploded in popularity. Users are ecstatic: "Free food, multiplies on its own. The ultimate asset." Experts warn, "We can't guarantee the ecosystem after they've eaten all the plastic," but their voices no longer reach anyone.
A professional gamer who became one with his gaming chair due to an extremely sedentary playstyle has announced he has acquired the ability to photosynthesize through moss growing on his back. The team owner proudly stated, "He also produces oxygen. He's the ultimate eco-friendly player and the savior of our finances."
The "Giant Cricket Breeding" program recommended by the Ministry of Education has developed into unexpected emotional dramas in households nationwide. After spending summer vacation together, children have formed bonds with their now-pet crickets, sobbing "We can't eat Taro" while boycotting tasting events. Some households report crickets have even taken up residence on TV remote controls.