"Going Paperless" Finally Reaches Fecal Tests. Company Mandates Mid-Air Catch for All Employees
A company's paperless initiative has finally reached the health checkup stool sample. A certain firm abolished the stool collection sheet entirely, citing "environmental consideration." All employees are now required to perform a "direct collection" by catching the specimen mid-air before it hits the water. Those who fail and let it splash down must pay for a retest out of pocket. As anguished screams echo from restrooms every morning, the CEO beams with pride, calling it "the ultimate SDGs."