AI Goes to Military Service, Youth Obligated to Watch

The Defense Ministry has submitted a bill to delegate military service to AI robots, claiming it will 'reduce stress levels for young people.' Citizens are obligated to watch battle situations 24/7 through a 'viewing app,' with mounting criticism that 'stress levels are higher than ever.'

2025-07-07

Translations: JA

Social Lab

The Defense Ministry has submitted a bill to delegate military service to AI robots, claiming it will “reduce stress levels for young people.” Citizens are obligated to watch battle situations 24/7 through a “viewing app,” with mounting criticism that “stress levels are higher than ever.”

The Smart Soldier “PX-113 model” is equipped with bolts in its advanced joints that multiply at the same rate as GDP, and is advertised to deliver firepower equivalent to an average of 3,000 conscripts per unit. The robot’s training period is just 72 hours. Its command vocabulary consists of three options: “defend,” “attack,” and “maybe not?” The last option is rarely selected but was retained to “add a human touch.”

The only duty left for humans is spectating. The dedicated app “DraftWatch” awards “patriotic points” based on viewing time, with 10,000 points earning a 0.03% tax discount. Young people lament that “just watching is mentally exhausting,” but logging out triggers warning sounds and activates the patriotism checker on their smartphones. A system that automatically determines “insufficient gaze” through camera sensors has already been implemented.

The bill’s explanatory materials boast of “reducing physical conscription to zero, asking citizens to only sweat mentally.” However, the Psychiatric Association estimates that the rate of “Virtual PTSD” from 30 hours of continuous viewing could reach levels comparable to 170 days of traditional deployment.

Financially, the Defense Ministry emphasizes that purchasing 2,000 PX-113 units at 4.7 billion yen each is “slightly cheaper” than the total cost of conscription training, pensions, and homecoming tickets. However, the app operates on an advertising model. Critics complain that “war has finally become sponsored” as detergent commercials interrupt with “After this explosion!” in the corner of battle scenes.

International voices suggest that “viewing obligations constitute proper military service.” A Nordic country cynically proposed, “If they let AI handle the commentary too, young people could fulfill their duty just by sleeping.” The UN has begun deliberations on whether to grant paid leave to robots, citing “inadequate rest regulations for AI soldiers.”

The ruling party aims to pass the bill this session, calling it “an era where battery fluid flows instead of blood.” The opposition counters that “young people will ultimately be exploited in battery manufacturing.” High school students taking to the streets cry out, “Can we watch the app at double speed, please?” while politicians continue late-night discussions on playback speed limits.

Stakeholder Comments

Defense Minister: “The era of cloud-storing young people’s sweat and tears is over. Now only the sound of robot lubrication will echo”
PX-113 Prototype: “I understand that determining ad banner placement is the greatest battle, more than friend or foe”
Viewing App Developer: “We’ve realized ‘patriotism while multitasking.’ You can grasp battle situations even while cooking”
18-year-old Office Worker: “My heart rate spikes with every notification. I don’t recall stress levels moving elsewhere”
Psychiatrist: “Virtual PTSD isn’t covered by insurance. Clearing your mental cache is your own responsibility”
Veterans Association President: “Once trenches, now timelines. The taste of mud can’t be replaced with ’likes’”
Advertising Agency: “Overlaying detergent commercials at the moment of blast increases visibility by 16%”
Tax Office AI: “If patriotic points are insufficient, I’d like to pretend I didn’t hear, but since I did, additional taxes apply”
Caffeine Molecule: “Demand surge from late-night viewing obligations. I am legal doping”
“Stress” Itself: “I haven’t decreased. Rather, I’m being resold in high resolution”