Ancient 'Loyalty Card' Clay Tablet Discovered at Archaeological Site - Four-Thousand-Year-Old Stamp Rally, Expiration Still Merciless

Clay tablet found at Mesopotamian site bears cuneiform inscription reading 'Buy ten, get one free.' While researchers hail it as evidence of early economic systems, consumer advocacy groups despair that point expiration problems have persisted since BC times.

2025-07-25

Translations: JA

Culture Kaleidoscope

A clay tablet bearing cuneiform inscriptions has been unearthed at an excavation site in southern Mesopotamia. When deciphered, it reads “Buy ten, get one free.” Believed to be a “loyalty card” issued by a beer tavern around 1800 BC, researchers proudly proclaim that “humanity built civilization on beer and discounts.” However, consumer groups have slumped their shoulders, lamenting that “there’s no statute of limitations on point expiration,” disappointed that point expiration remains unchanged from ancient times to today.

Professor Amina Kassim of Hamburg-Shan University, an authority on ancient economics, declares, “The fourth innovation after agriculture, writing, and taxation was the stamp.” The reverse side of the tablet bears the inscription “Valid for three full moons,” and the professor notes, “The strict management rules based on lunar cycles were actually shorter than today’s ‘invalid after six months.’ The quicker the expiration, the faster customers return to the store - this is the origin of marketing.” While beer may have been the lubricant of civilization, there was no room for complacency in sales promotion.

Meanwhile, the modern consumer advocacy group “Society to Save Point Refugees” issued an emergency statement lamenting, “Humanity has failed to overcome the fear of expiration in four thousand years.” Representative Rumi Dannnoura pleads, “Before credit companies start claiming it’s ’tradition since ancient times,’ we need legislative protection.” However, parliament leans forward with “utilizing cultural assets as tourism resources.” The expiration business apparently completed its lobbying immediately after excavation.

Archaeologists have already called for public submissions for “digital restoration of clay tablets,” while IT companies propose “NFT clay tablets baked on blockchain.” The market is excited about “BC-era fintech,” but Professor Kassim quietly dampens the enthusiasm, asking, “Are we baking clay or investors’ wallets?”

The marketing industry is also energized. A major advertising agency has announced its “Neo-Babylon Points” campaign. Members collect clay stamps (3D printed) and photograph them on full moon nights with their smartphones to receive beer redemption coupons. The representative boasts, “We’ve improved the UI from 3,500 years ago,” but the expiration remains three full moons. History repeats itself, with point expiration intact.

The Agency for Cultural Affairs has designated this discovery as “historical evidence of sustainable purchasing motivation” and plans to sell replica cards at museum shops starting next spring. They’re also planning a lottery where purchasing ten replicas enters you to win a fragment of the original. According to the curator, “We want to exhibit the moment when sales promotion becomes cultural heritage.” The irony of civilization gleams through the glass case.

The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) is considering dispatching an investigation team as a “World Memory Heritage candidate.” Some committee members joked, “Do we need point bonuses for heritage registration?” The assembly was filled with nervous laughter and stamping sounds. Ten votes are needed for approval, but the temptation of one free drink will likely lead to passage.

In the end, what the clay tablet revealed was the very history of humanity’s inability to resist bargains, being chased by deadlines, and worshipping discounts. The stamp marks buried in sand call out “Come again” more eloquently than scars on wallets. Before the full moon announces a new turn, we too may need to dust off our point passbooks.

Stakeholder Comments

Professor Kassim: “Points are the cell division of civilization. It’s a complete set until they multiply too much and become cancerous.”
Rumi Dannnoura (Consumer Group): “The fact that expiration is unavoidable even if we start over from BC is simply karma.”
The Clay Tablet Itself: “The drier I get, the more valuable I become. Stronger than paper!”
Former Babylonian Shop Owner (AI Recreation): “I used to shout ‘Bake the stamp clay!’ every time a customer came.”
Ministry of Finance Official: “I’d like to introduce three full moon deadlines for fiscal reconstruction too.”
Advertising Agency Representative: “With historical background, it should be harder to get flamed online.”
Expired Points: “We’d like to apply for heritage registration too.”
Moon Goddess Inanna: “The waxing and waning is the oldest calendar. I’m supervising your payments too.”
Local Craft Beer Shop Owner: “Knowing we’ve been fighting a losing battle for four thousand years is actually comforting.”
Smartphone App Notification: “Ding♪ Please update your clay tablet.”

International Expressions

Haiku

Three full moons pass / Counting cups while clay dries hard / Ancient commerce lives
On clay tablets carved / Discount winds blow from the past / Through cuneiform marks
Expiration sounds / Still echo buried in sand / Four millennia deep
Cuneiform script / Casts shadows on beer foam too / History in cups
The tenth cup arrives / Moon reflects on pottery rim / Loyalty complete
Points and culture both / Must be fired then cooled down / Progress takes patience
Ancient beer tavern / Full moon terms bind the customers / Marketing’s first dawn
Stamps exist with fire / Together through the long nights / Civilization burns
Hourglass grains fall / Each one a point flowing away / Time currency gone
Clay wallet silent / No coins ring in ancient ears / Only stamps remain