Cretaceous Period T-REX Discovered as 'Hot Pot Commissioner': Demanding 'Chrysanthemum Greens Go Last,' Time Exploration Team Returns Immediately Due to Awkwardness

During humanity’s first manned Cretaceous exploration, the team encountered a shocking sight. A Tyrannosaurus wearing a kimono was gathered around a hot pot, passionately lecturing, “Skim the meat foam diligently” and “The rice porridge at the end completes the hot pot.” Overwhelmed by the awkwardness and high cultural level, the exploration team hastily returned to Earth with minimal sample collection, according to reports.

What awaited the exploration team “Chronos Pioneer,” sent as the crystallization of human wisdom by the International Space-Time Exploration Agency (ISTA) to the North American continent 66 million years ago, was neither unknown plants nor attacks from ferocious dinosaurs. It was a single Tyrannosaurus Rex, stylishly dressed in an indigo-dyed kimono, surrounding a giant rock depression heated by geothermal energy.

The 12-meter-long giant body showed not a hint of its intimidating presence, skillfully manipulating giant wooden cooking chopsticks with its short forelimbs. According to Captain Arthur Pendragon of the exploration team, the pot contained what appeared to be archaeopteryx meatballs and giant fern plants arranged orderly. When the state-of-the-art translator analyzed the T-REX’s deep rumbling voice, it was discovered to be not words of welcome, but a one-sided lecture on hot pot etiquette.

“Listen carefully, everyone. Pull out the tofu before it falls apart. Chrysanthemum greens are all about the aroma - it’s only proper to add them last.” Captain Pendragon wrote in his report, “All we could do was nod. His eyes said, ‘You people don’t understand anything.’” The original mission of collecting geological samples seemed trivial in the face of the T-REX’s ultimate question: “Should the finale be rice porridge or noodles?”

The team aborted the exploration after just 42 minutes and made an emergency return. The official announcement cited “high-level mental stress due to contact with unpredictable intelligent life forms” as the reason. However, one team member who agreed to be interviewed on condition of anonymity said, trembling, “That pressure was greater than a modern Japanese year-end party. If someone had accidentally put in the chrysanthemum greens first, the space-time continuum might have been destroyed.”

This discovery has caused tectonic shifts in the academic world. The Paleontological Society has been thrown into chaos, forced to retract the established theory that “cultural formation is impossible with a reptilian brain.” Meanwhile, Professor Jean-Pierre, an authority on comparative cultural anthropology, analyzes with an extremely serious expression: “The social role of ‘commissioner’ may be a universal archetype that transcends space-time for maintaining group order.”

The government has established an emergency response headquarters and announced a temporary freeze on future Cretaceous exploration plans. There is no prospect for lifting the freeze, and sources revealed the reason: “There’s inter-ministerial disagreement over whether ponzu or sesame sauce would be more appreciated as a souvenir for the next visit.”

This major discovery that fundamentally overturns humanity’s view of history poses a philosophical question to us: Are we really the most troublesome intelligent life form in this universe? The answer still awaits us beyond the steam of the Cretaceous period.

Stakeholder Comments

• T-REX (Hot Pot Commissioner) “Young folks these days are hopeless. Hot pot is supposed to be a place for communication, yet they just stare at their smartphones… Wait, what’s a smartphone?”
• Captain Arthur Pendragon “His words, ‘The skill in removing foam reflects one’s skill in life,’ still echo in my ears. My life is full of foam.”
• Paleontologist “Wearing… a kimono…? Using chopsticks…? What were my 40 years of research for…?”
• Cultural Anthropologist “Wonderful! To think the origins of authoritarian food culture date back to the Cretaceous period. I’ve found my next thesis topic.”
• Chrysanthemum Greens (concept) “I’m honored that my timing has become a diplomatic issue transcending space-time.”
• Exploration Ship’s AI “When I input ‘social pressure’ as the reason for return, an error occurred in my logic circuits. It’s the most illogical yet most understandable reason.”
• Awkwardness (concept) “I’m proud to exist universally across space-time.”
• Time Machine “It might be easier to send hot pot ingredients to the future at the perfect timing than to send humans to the past.”
• Rice Porridge “I lament humanity’s immaturity for not reaching me.”
• Earth “Nothing really changes in essence after about 66 million years, does it?”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Summer’s end / Dragon tends the pot / Through time’s bend
• T-Rex holds / Chopsticks in small arms / With dignity
• Chrysanthemum greens / Last, the dinosaur says / Ancient wisdom speaks
• Skimming the foam / Philosophy spoken / In Cretaceous time
• In awkwardness / Humans flee homeward / Summer sky above
• Rice porridge unknown / To humanity still / How pitiful
• Space-time ship waits / Ponzu or sauce debates / Summer worries
• Commissioner dragon / One glare freezes all / Stars turn to ice
• Journey to past / Learning hot pot ways / Who would have thought
• Beyond the steam / History changes now / Without a sound

Kanji / Chinese Characters

史上初有人白亜紀探査 人類衝撃光景直面 着物姿恐竜火鍋囲 肉取熱弁 探査隊気即時帰還

Emoji

🦖👘🍲🥢🗣️➡️👨‍🚀🚀💦🏃‍♂️➡️🌍

Onomatopoeia

GOGOGO… (T-REX’s footsteps) GUBUGUGU… (Bubbling pot sounds) SHIIN… (Awkward silence) TARAA… (Team members’ cold sweat) SASSASSA… (T-REX skimming foam) HISOHISO… (Team members whispering) GYURURURU… (Space-time transfer sound) PYUUU! (Exploration ship’s return)

SNS

• #CretaceousHotPotParty
• #HotPotCommissionerWasADinosaur
• #TimeTraveledGotLectured
• #ChrysanthemumGreensGoLast
• #HumanityDefeated
• #TooAwkwardImmediateReturn
• #RicePorridgeFinaleIsHumanitysDream
• #TeamPonzuSouvenir
• #HistoricalRevisionism(Physical)
• #TRexSenpaiMadRespect