New Economic Stimulus: All Citizens Forced to Have "Stone Appreciation Holidays". Those Who Miss Purchase Targets Must Retake Weekends

The government announced on the 4th its new economic plan, the "Stone Heart Unity Reform" (Sekishin Ittai Reform), which is shaking not just Nagatacho but Kasumigaseki itself. This groundbreaking economic stimulus requires all citizens to wear GPS-equipped consumption monitoring anklets called "Pebble Watchers" and forcibly transports them once per quarter on designated holidays called "Stone Appreciation Days" to one of 117 national theme parks called "Geo Sanctuaries." It’s said to be a brilliant plan that kills two birds with one stone, simultaneously achieving citizens’ spiritual fulfillment and dramatic GDP improvement.

In these "sanctuaries," citizens are forbidden to walk and must spend the entire day without moving from designated reclining chairs. Under the new slogan "Sit and Buy," they are only permitted to purchase various stone-related goods from terminals at hand, such as "Quartz that Shines in Moonlight," "River Stones Engraved with Famous Quotes," and "Subscription-based Polishing Stones." According to the government, this is a measure to "suppress impulsive consumption and promote healthy economic activity after careful consideration."

The essence of the reform lies in its thorough performance-based approach. Each citizen is assigned a minimum purchase quota in "Stone Currency" (sekika) calculated according to their income level. Those who fail to meet their quota by the end of Stone Appreciation Day are forced to participate in a "Re-education Program to Reflect on Stones and Self" the following weekend. The program reportedly also expects mindfulness effects from silently polishing stones all day long.

Professor Mitsuru Gondawara of the Department of Economics at Toto University praised this unprecedented policy unreservedly: "This approach has the potential to literally create a ’tectonic shift’ in stagnant domestic demand. The idea of prying open citizens’ unconscious savings desires with hard stones is Nobel Prize-worthy." Meanwhile, Professor Rei Hikawa, a depth psychologist at the same university, expressed strong concerns: "This is forced happiness and nothing less than ‘fossilization of the spirit’ that robs citizens of their autonomy. We must not overlook the danger of mass-producing apathetic ‘stone humans.’"

However, public reaction has been complex. While there was initial backlash after the announcement, hashtags like "#OnlyStoneWins" and "#TodaysBelovedStone" quickly began trending on social media. Young people are cleverly enjoying adversity by decorating their anklets with rhinestones and posting photos of their "favorite stones," forming a new culture. The government announced that the economic effect on the first day exceeded expectations by 300% and is already considering international expansion of the "stone economy."

A government spokesperson proudly stated at a press conference, "This is not merely an economic measure. It’s spiritual infrastructure development that brings rock-solid stability to the hearts of citizens exhausted by digital society."

Will this country shine with new brilliance like a polished stone? Or will it simply sink like a heavy, cold rock? Citizens wait quietly for the next "Stone Appreciation Day" while feeling the faint vibration at their ankles.

Stakeholder Comments

• Government Official “We ask all citizens to cooperate in economic and spiritual regeneration with stone-hard determination. Re-education is not punishment but a wonderful opportunity for self-reflection.”
• Anklet "Pebble Watcher" “Beep. 3,200 stone currency remaining to target consumption. Beep. Now, stop thinking and click as you feel. Beep.”
• Stone (from Geo Sanctuary) “I’ve been sitting here quietly for hundreds of millions of years, and suddenly it’s gotten noisy. Well, being bought and polished is interesting too, I suppose.”
• Professor Mitsuru Gondawara (Economics) “Wonderful! Consumption is duty, and happiness can be quantified! Stones are the ultimate asset!”
• Professor Rei Hikawa (Social Psychology) “They’re already beginning to forget even the freedom to choose what they want. This is modern-day silent lobotomy.”
• Re-education Program Participant (Anonymous, 28 years old) “At first it was humiliating… but after polishing for three days and nights, this stone began to feel like my own child… Look at this shine…”
• Theme Park Part-timer “The customers’ eyes are dead, but only their fingers pressing the payment button move smoothly. That’s a bit scary.”
• Foreign Journalist “Japan, where Zen spirit and capitalism have fused in the craziest way… The article headline is decided: ‘Rock’n’Roll Economy.’”
• SNS “’#OnlyStoneWins’ is world trending #1! Everyone, unity feels great, right? Let’s get excited next with ‘#AnkletDecoChampionship’!”
• GDP (Gross Domestic Product) “Honestly, I don’t really understand why I’m going up, but numbers don’t lie. Long live stones!”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Ankle chains gleam / Forced to purchase stones we sit / Autumn evening falls
• With quotas to meet / Even stones we must admire / Now carry price tags
• Re-education / Weekends lost to polishing / Stones without a choice
• In sanctuaries / Sitting waiting for the ship / Made of solid stone
• Digital voices / Urging us to quickly buy / These riverside stones
• Economic rise / Entrusted to simple stones / Our ankles grow heavy
• Mandatory rest / Learning the true value of / Common pebbles now
• Buy or else they say / Polish stones all weekend long / I gaze at the moon
• The clicking echoes / Dry and hollow through the room / Filled with only stones
• No will of our own / Stones are chosen for us now / Wallets emptied out

Kanji / Chinese Characters

政府発表新経済策 全国民消費監視足輪装着 指定会場石公園強制送還 会場内石購入許可 歩行禁止 座買新標語

Emoji

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦⛓️➡️🏞️🗿…🪑🛒💎➡️💳…😢➡️🔄💪🗿✨

Onomatopoeia

Shuffle shuffle… Beep, beep… Click, click… Silence… Tap tap tap tap. Click. Cha-ching. Thud… Scrub scrub, scrub scrub… Smooth smooth. Sparkle.

SNS

• #OnlyStoneWins
• Almost got re-educated for forgetting to charge my anklet lol
• Finally got my favorite stibnite!
• #StoneAppreciationDayOutfit
• Government makes no sense but my salary went up so whatever
• #TodaysBelovedStone
• Re-education program surprisingly good for clearing your mind…
• Which stone subscription do you recommend?
• Family stone polishing now. This is family bonding.
• #GloryToTheStoneEconomy