Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky

Reports flood in nationwide claiming “Aurora too magnificent, can’t help but forget work,” becoming a social problem. Government expert committee determines “aesthetic-induced distraction” severely undermines national productivity. As countermeasure, submits bill mandating installation of massive blackout curtains covering entire night sky for all municipalities. In response to protests from astronomical society, official replied “Economic indicators shine brighter than stars.”

Perhaps due to recent abnormal weather patterns, aurora sightings have become common across Japan. While the ethereal spectacle has captivated many, it has ironically become a shackle on the nation. The Cabinet Office’s “Expert Council on National Productivity Enhancement and Visual Temptation Elimination” announced survey results on the 19th, covering 10,000 workers nationwide. More than 70% responded that “on days I saw the aurora, I couldn’t shake off the emotion, and my work efficiency dropped by an average of 35%.” The report named this phenomenon “Aurora Syndrome” and concluded it represents a serious economic loss, depressing annual GDP by 2.7%.

The report noted that “aesthetic emotions are non-quantifiable, and their direct contribution to KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) is limited.” It argued that “emotions should be consumed in a planned manner during holidays, and visual noise randomly occurring in the weeknight sky disrupts the stability of the national economy,” calling for fundamental countermeasures.

In response, the government immediately took action. A new bill centering on the introduction of a “National Strategic Blackout Curtain System” covering the entire night sky was approved by the Cabinet. The total cost is approximately 12 trillion yen, equivalent to about one-tenth of the national budget. The material will use cutting-edge “anti-cosmic photon absorption membrane” technology developed by JAXA (Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency), with AI automatically opening and closing the curtain in real-time coordination with economic indicators. When stock prices rise, the curtain closes; when signs of recession appear, it may temporarily open to boost national morale.

In response to this unprecedented plan, the Astronomical Society of Japan issued an emergency statement fiercely opposing it as “blasphemy against human intellectual curiosity and civilizational suicide.” Environmental protection groups have also expressed strong concerns that “the impact on migratory birds and nocturnal wildlife ecosystems is immeasurable.” However, the government official remained firm: “Normalizing economic circulation takes priority over ecosystems. We would like animals to contribute to Japan’s economic growth as well.”

Meanwhile, some in the Japan Business Federation have welcomed it, saying “It’s a groundbreaking environmental improvement to maintain worker concentration. We fully support it if overtime limits are relaxed.” On social media, “#GiveBackOurSky” has become the world’s number one trending topic as opposition movements spread, while comments like “I can concentrate on night shifts” and “Now I can sleep peacefully” have appeared—whether self-deprecating or serious is unclear.

According to government estimates, the productivity improvement effect from the curtain installation is expected to reach 5 trillion yen annually. Domestic companies responsible for curtain manufacturing and installation are anticipating unprecedented special demand. The official said confidently, “We are simply creating an environment where citizens can focus on ‘what they should see’—namely, the work in front of them and brilliant economic indicators. Stargazing can be enjoyed under a license system in government-designated ‘Emotion Special Zones’ without compliance issues.”

Is it only the night sky that is about to be closed off? For the myth called productivity, how many lights will we sacrifice? Beyond the curtain, nameless stars continue to twinkle quietly.

Stakeholder Comments

• Ms. Aurora “What, I’m too beautiful? Sorry about that. But isn’t a curtain going too far?”
• Government Official “Numbers don’t lie. Please present the ROI (Return on Investment) of emotions with evidence-based data.”
• Astronomer “When I looked through the finder, it was pitch black. Could there be a greater tragedy?”
• Blackout Curtain Manufacturer CEO “Honored to contribute to a national project. Our technology won’t let a single drop of light leak through!”
• Employee with Improved Productivity “I can’t even see my boss’s face anymore, so I can concentrate perfectly.”
• Nocturnal Owl “Hoo-hoo. (Translation: It suddenly went dark and I hit a wall. I’d like to file for workers’ compensation.)”
• Economic Indicators (Personified) “Am I sparkling? Someone said I shine brighter than stars ♡”
• Elementary School Student “I can’t draw pictures of stars for my art homework anymore.”
• Social Media Influencer “The hashtag ‘#ThroughTheGapInTheCurtain’ is going to go viral!”
• The Moon “Well, it’ll be somewhat bright as long as I’m here… but that’s a bit of pressure.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Aurora hides / Vanishing behind curtains / Productivity
• Dark night sky / Curtains drawn tight / Watch the metrics
• Children grow / Never knowing stars / In this country
• Beautiful crime / Winter heavens covered / By decree
• Look up and see / Government-made darkness / Fills the sky
• Hoo-hoo calls / Owl lost wandering / State-made night
• Efficiency / Sky sealed away / What do we think
• Milky Way / Beyond the blackout sheet / Far away
• Emotion is / Weekend task now / KPI
• Economy / Brighter than stars / Night won’t come

Kanji / Chinese Characters

全国壮麗仕事忘申告殺到社会問題化 政府専門委美的感動注意散漫国家生産性著低下断定 対策夜空全体覆巨大遮光設置全自治体義務化法案提出

Emoji

🌌✨😍➡️👨‍💼📉➡️🏛️🤔➡️🌃⬛️🛌➡️📈💰

Onomatopoeia

Sparkle sparkle… Sway sway…, Gasp!, Clatter clatter clatter…, Murmur murmur… Silence…, Swoosh, Clang! Pitch black… Clatter clatter clatter… Flash! (PC screen)

SNS

• #GiveBackOurSky2025
• #ProductivityFirst
• #AuroraIsACrime
• Now I can work overtime in peace (dead eyes)
• Life under blackout curtains, surprisingly comfortable theory
• Selling my telescope on Mercari…
• Darkness viewing party, recruiting participants!
• #EconomicIndicatorsAreEverything
• Bureaucrats’ ideas are the real fantasy
• Blinds for the sun next?