Otherworld Stadium Introduces New 'Lifespan Payment' System: French Fries Cost 3 Days of Your Life

A new payment system called ‘Lifespan Pay’ has been introduced at an electrifying stadium. Fans scan their remaining lifespan with smartphones to purchase hot dogs (5 days worth) one after another. “I feel great because my cash isn’t decreasing,” says one user as crowds flood in. The government has announced it is considering implementing this as a new pension funding source.

The “Next Frontier Stadium,” which suddenly appeared in an interdimensional space, has introduced a payment system called “LifePay” that is shaking the very foundations of our values and sending shockwaves through society. This groundbreaking (or perhaps apocalyptic) system allows spectators to simply hold their smartphone with a dedicated app installed up to a terminal, converting a portion of their “disposable time”—that is, their remaining lifespan—into digital currency for payment.

The stadium is overflowing with fans who are ecstatic about this “painless” payment method. Despite prices that are by no means cheap—60 days of lifespan for a limited-edition team uniform, 7 days for a special victory beer—people continue to tap their smartphones one after another. “I can go all out for my favorite team even before payday. It’s like borrowing from my future self,” says Mr. A (28), a company employee munching on french fries (3 days worth). There isn’t a trace of despair on his face about selling off his own existence time.

According to the otherworld technology company “Chronos Ventures,” the developer, this system scans users’ biometric information at the quantum level and sets payment limits based on extremely accurate life expectancy predictions. In response to privacy and ethical concerns, the company issued a statement that sounds all too familiar: “By agreeing to the terms of service, we respect individuals’ free will in their decision-making.” The stadium operators are equally self-congratulatory, calling it “an innovative solution to maximize our customers’ cheering experience.”

Experts have expressed both praise and criticism for this unprecedented service. Professor Torajiro Yamada, a space-time economist at Toto University, evaluates it as “the ultimate evolution of capitalism, completely removing the biggest psychological barrier in consumer behavior—the ‘pain of the wallet.’” At the same time, he sounds the alarm: “This is life dumping, nothing less than the commodification of humanity. I just hope today’s french fries don’t become tomorrow’s regret-induced heartburn.”

The government isn’t sitting idly by either. The Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare and the Ministry of Finance have jointly established a “National Future Asset Utilization Study Council.” They have begun seriously considering the introduction of a “time tax” as a new supplementary measure for the ever-declining pension fund, where the government would collect and redistribute a portion of lifespans paid through LifePay. A government official puffed out his chest saying, “This is a groundbreaking revenue reform where the government supports the earnest wishes of our citizens to ’enjoy the present.’” But his eyes weren’t smiling.

Is the stadium’s fervor a flame of hope for the future, or a bonfire of doom that will consume us all? We have now acquired the right to hasten our own end for the price of a single french fry. Does that salt taste like victory, or like the tears of the future? The answer dissolves and disappears amid the resounding cheers.

Stakeholder Comments

• Soccer Fan (24): “Zero wallet pain for supporting my faves is divine! Future me, sorry LOL”
• LifePay Developer: “We have democratized time. A world where everyone can freely use their most precious asset. Wonderful, isn’t it?”
• Mr. Hot Dog: “5 days… for me? I’m honored. Please savor every bite.”
• Pension System (Concept): “I thought my presence was fading lately… but now a formidable rival has appeared.”
• Government Official: “This is not a ’tax,’ but a ‘hope asset pool’ to expand future options. Absolutely.”
• Professor Torajiro Yamada (Space-time Economics): “Pandora’s box has been opened. It will be interesting to see whether what remains at the bottom is hope or an invoice.”
• My Future Self 50 Years Later: “Hey, can you hear me? Skip the fries. At least go with nuggets (4 days).”
• French Fries: “Fresh-fried life, how about it! Get it while it’s hot!”
• Smartphone: “I feel like I’ve been reduced to just a scanner. Scan my future too, will ya.”
• Ghost of Capitalism: “Hehehe… The ultimate entertainment. The audience, the merchandise—everything is mine.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Buy fries today / My shrinking world unknown / Summer’s fleeting blaze
• Cheering songs ring out / Paid for with life itself / Voices going hoarse
• Smartphone held up high / Selling tomorrow away / Stadium at night
• The price of passion / An hourglass marks the cost / Time keeps ticking down
• Seven days for beer / Love for my team runs so deep / Life on the line
• Lighter than wallet / What grows lighter still is this / My own future days
• After the game ends / Silence falls upon the crowd / Sound of time ticks on
• Pension fades away / The value of now shines bright / Eclipsing all else
• Victory match won / Celebrating with lifespan / Sake’s bitter taste
• Digital void drinks / Life drained drop by drop from us / Winter comes at last

Kanji / Chinese Characters

熱狂球場 新決済寿命払導入 扇子残寿命スマホ読取購入 現金不減気分良 利用者殺到 政府新年金財源導入検討発表

Emoji

🏟️⚽️🥳 → 📱💳 → ⏳📉 → 🍟🌭🍺😋 → 💸😇

Onomatopoeia

BEEP! Whirrr… Chatter chatter, ROARRR! Crunch crunch, munch munch. Tick tick tick… (the quiet sound of lifespan being shaved away) Gulp gulp, Ahhh! Silence… (post-game quiet and a future balance of zero)

SNS

• #LivingLargeWithLifePay
• #TodaysLifespanMeal
• #SorryFutureMe
• #WouldGiveMyLifeForMyFaves
• #FinalFormOfCapitalism
• #LifePayOverPension
• #FrenchFriesCost3DaysOfMyLife
• #StadiumGourmetLiterally
• #PainlessPaymentIsTheBest
• #TimeIsMoneyTakenLiterally