City Designates Deafening Exhaust Noise as Cultural Property: Side Effects of Custom Motorcycle Gang's 15th Anniversary

At midnight, City Hall designated the roar of custom motorcycle gang “Rolling Runway” as a cultural property under the label “Crucial BGM of Youth Culture.” The windows of the housing complex clapped from the vibrations, and residents were distributed free earplugs. It is reported that the application was filed not by the city itself, but by its own noise complaint hotline desk.

Celebrating its 15th anniversary, “Rolling Runway” reportedly logs noise levels up to 95 decibels every time they tear through the city. While this is equivalent to a factory floor by day and serves as a total lullaby killer by night, the Municipal Cultural Properties Committee highly praised it as “a sound that facilitates intergenerational communication in certain neighborhoods.” Senior citizens scream, “I can’t sleep!” while the youth yell back, “We can still ride!” The city has creatively reframed this shouting match as a “citizen-participation music festival.”

Behind this decision lies a noise complaint hotline on the brink of collapse. For the past few years, nighttime phone lines have rung more intensely than the engines roar, with staff members confessing, “The ringing of the phone is the real trauma.” Thus, a reverse-thinking brainstorm was born: elevate the deafening exhaust noise itself to “culture worthy of preservation.” Once it becomes a cultural property, complaints can be converted in official statistics into “artistic reviews.” In administrative parlance, the nuisance doesn’t disappear; its category label simply shifts quietly.

The designated asset is officially defined as: “The complete series of continuous exhaust sounds from modified motorcycles riding primarily around the eastern housing complex area between midnight and 3:00 AM.” A heated debate arose over whether this was tangible or intangible heritage, but it was ultimately categorized as “equivalent to an intangible cultural property because it is etched directly onto the eardrums.” The preservation and utilization plan includes periodic noise level measurements, the installation of “roar-appreciation benches,” and archiving via online streaming. The first thing the city established—ahead of any environmental standards—was not quietness, but an official playlist.

As a “support measure for coexisting with cultural assets,” residents were distributed four free earplugs per household. At the briefing, a city official pleaded, “We want you to open your hearts by closing your ears,” prompting muffled laughter from the audience. An office worker telecommuting from his apartment showed half-resigned acceptance, remarking, “Being able to choose whether to block out my boss’s voice or the roar of the bikes is, in a way, work-life balance.” Meanwhile, a child who lost their earplugs was optimistic: “Today is a day I get to hear the live cultural heritage.”

The members of Rolling Runway themselves cannot hide their confusion at this sudden elevation. “Our entire reason for being was that people told us we were too loud. Now that we’re a protected asset, I feel like we’ve been forced to graduate from our rebellious phase,” the leader said with a wry smile. Under the city’s request, they are expected to ensure the “reproducibility” of their riding routes and rhythms. Their improvised street racing may transform into scheduled performances complete with sheet music. What started as anti-establishment ends up on a publicly funded stage—citizen culture twists itself ingeniously once again.

The city is reportedly considering other candidates for future cultural property designations, including “3:00 AM love ballads leaking from the adjacent karaoke bar” and “early morning dress rehearsals for election campaign vans.” By rebranding irritating sounds as a “locally rich soundscape,” the city has hit upon a brilliant scheme to bypass both budget constraints and public criticism. The era when local government protected silence is long gone; now, noise is the city’s hot new brand asset. Only one challenge remains: the citizens’ sleep—an outdated, unprofitable form of happiness.

Comments from Stakeholders

• Head of the Municipal Cultural Properties Division: “We can recover silence at any time, but this roar is a once-in-a-lifetime encounter, unique to this generation. If the graph of noise complaints beautifully declines in the future, that in itself will be art.”
• Noise Complaint Hotline Staff: “If it stops the phone from ringing, I’d willingly study and get used to a couple of roaring engines before my shift. Right now, the ringtone is the worst pollution of all.”
• Leader of Rolling Runway: “I never thought our muffler model numbers would be listed in official city documents. I guess our next custom build will be designed specifically to hit the cultural asset noise criteria.”
• Apartment Complex Association President: “Four earplugs per household are not enough. At the very least, please provide soundproofing insulation for our windows and our nerves next fiscal year.”
• Apartment Window Frame: “I’ve been rattling every night for the past fifteen years, but finally, my shaking has been interpreted as ‘clapping.’ I salute the city office for their positive thinking.”
• Distributed Earplug: “I was originally designed for construction sites, but in this town, I serve as a cushion for administrative policies. Once the budget runs out, who will protect the citizens’ eardrums next?”
• Youth Culture Researcher: “The moment the administration protects the noise, it’s no longer rebellion; it’s local folklore. Soon, they will probably be handed choreography and pamphlets.”
• Local Convenience Store Manager: “Whenever the roar approaches, what sells are instant noodles, energy drinks, and earplugs. The economic spillover effect for the local economy is probably way more in the black than the city’s estimates.”
• Police Traffic Division Officer: “Cultural assets and traffic violations are separate issues. When we pull them over, they mockingly ask, ‘Are you inspecting the state of preservation?’ but we are simply defending the culture of driver’s license penalty points.”
• Sleep of a Citizen Who Wants to Rest: “I am the only one still undesignated. Could you please, someday, protect me just a little as a ‘precious resource’?”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Deafening roar, / hanging a cultural property tag / around its neck.
• Spring arrives / at the housing complex / blooming with earplugs.
• Night windows, / shaking and applauding / toward City Hall.
• Complaint desk, / submitting the application, / half self-destructively.
• Waking up / to the engine roar / of the youth.
• Sleepless nights / the mayor proudly calls / our culture.
• Silence is / left behind, / without a budget.
• The ordinance protecting noise / drowns out / every whisper.
• “Close your ears, / and listen with your heart,” / says the official.
• Intangible: / that which remains / etched in the eardrum.

Kanji / Chinese Characters

深夜零時市役所改造自動二輪集団爆音若者文化重要音背景文化財指定団地窓振動拍手住民無料耳栓配布申請者苦情担当窓口

Emoji

🌃🏙️🏢📜➡️🏍️💨💥🎶🏘️🪟💢👏👂🆓🟦📞😵‍💫

Onomatopoeia

Roar roar rumble rumble, clatter clatter rattle rattle, ding dong ring ring, mumble mumble toss and turn, murmur murmur whisper whisper, plop pop… silence.

SNS

• #DeafeningCulturalProperty Finally, City Hall cracked a joke worth listening to.
• Word on the street is that behind the earplug distribution, complaint stats are quietly improving.
• A town where “Rolling Runway” becomes the official soundtrack is wild.
• Hilarious that a motorcycle gang going through a rebellious phase was certified as local folklore overnight.
• Since it’s designated as a cultural property, I can no longer tell my kids to “be quiet.”
• What City Hall came up with wasn’t noise control, but a playlist.
• Lack of sleep is now our own responsibility, and earplugs are self-defense tools.
• Hope they register election campaign cars and karaoke leaks next to complete the soundscape collection.
• The theory that you can get away with anything by slapping the convenient label of “youth culture” on it.
• Today, too, the housing complex windows are supporting culture by rattling in applause.