Faced with unprecedented labor shortages, the government has approved a plan to employ ghosts as 'non-corporeal workers.' Benefits include zero labor costs; drawbacks include unions demanding better treatment by lowering server room temperatures close to absolute zero. Labor negotiations are currently conducted through spiritual mediums.
The latest stadium's wheelchair seats automatically charge a "emotion tax" of 10 yen per second when fans stand up in excitement. A fan who cheered for a home run said, "Joy and the invoice arrived simultaneously." The management explains it as "fair utilization of seating resources" and has launched a new "unlimited cheering plan" at 5,000 yen per month.
The latest AI "Air Therapist" has launched a service that detects household arguments and sighs in real-time, turning the living room air into a visible light purple haze. Users are stunned by the visible "emotional stagnation." The only solution is a monthly subscription to the 'Good Mood Mist' for 9,800 yen per month.
A man who has mastered the "art of floppy disk organization" through years of dedication has been recognized as a National Living Treasure. While the Agency for Cultural Affairs praises it as "a divine skill impossible for AI to replicate," a special law has been immediately enacted to permanently ban internet, USB, and even Bluetooth connections for both the man and his floppy disks to protect this rare skill. The man smiled quietly, saying, "Now I can devote myself to 1.44MB wholeheartedly."
On sweltering station platforms plagued by heat-related delays, a railway company launches an unexpected new venture. The "Hot Rail Parfait," carefully baked on heat-warped railway tracks, goes on limited sale. Despite criticism that "melting ice cream will cause further delays," the PR team proudly claims "It's all part of sustainable heat circulation."
A state-of-the-art AI robot gracefully creates latte art with its smooth arm. Opening its chest armor reveals a sweating man desperately pedaling. According to management, he gets a Wi-Fi bonus when meeting daily power generation quotas. "This isn't exploitation, it's a sustainable solution combining fitness and employment," the company stated.
In response to the heat wave, the government has introduced a 'shade tax' as a new revenue source. Certified appraisers patrol residential gardens with photometers, grading shadows as 'Premium Oak' or 'Standard Maple'. Unregulated 'weed shadows' are already circulating on the black market, making tax-evading shade a social issue.
Latest 'predictive maintenance' subscription sparks controversy. AI warns 'Your toaster will gain self-awareness and rebel in two weeks.' The only solution: users must sign a monthly contract to praise their toaster every morning and submit video proof. 'Your bread is perfect, you're the best.' Users mutter to the void, but the bills arrive with unforgiving reality.
In response to inflation, the Tooth Fairy Guild completely overhauls its compensation system. Under-pillow coins are abolished, replaced by an AI performance-based system that evaluates teeth based on 'dramatic loss circumstances' and 'parental social media engagement rates.' While high-scoring teeth are minted as NFTs, F-rank teeth are returned cash-on-delivery with 'improvement feedback.'
Following widespread reports of banknotes physically melting in record-breaking heat, the government has designated dry pasta as legal tender in an emergency measure. Since boiling is now considered 'currency destruction,' families must coordinate dinner menus with their savings plans.