Money Maze

Executives Suspected of Disappearance Amid Bridge Crack Neglect: Company Claims "Not Fleeing, Just Emergency Mental Care with A5 Rank Wagyu Beef"

Executives Suspected of Disappearance Amid Bridge Crack Neglect: Company Claims "Not Fleeing, Just Emergency Mental Care with A5 Rank Wagyu Beef"

Executives of a construction company who disappeared from a site at risk of collapse held a press conference three days later with greasy faces. They justified their stay at a high-end yakiniku restaurant as "protein-focused replenishment to maintain high-level judgment," claiming "radio interference in the private underground room" caused the loss of contact. It was also revealed that they expensed 400,000 yen worth of additional special premium kalbi as "bridge pier reinforcement materials."

Translations: JA
Money Maze
Sneeze Power Commercialized, Cedar Pollen Skyrockets to 'Green Oil'; Citizens Inhaling Pollen for Heat Overheat and Glow

Sneeze Power Commercialized, Cedar Pollen Skyrockets to 'Green Oil'; Citizens Inhaling Pollen for Heat Overheat and Glow

The 'Allergy Reactor', which converts the shock of sneezing into heat, saves the cold wave. However, accidents where body temperature reaches boiling point occur frequently as users inhale pollen directly in search of 'stronger warmth'. Investors buy up cedar forests, and severe hay fever patients become 'high-output bio-talent' with tripled annual incomes in this abnormal situation.

Translations: JA
Money Maze
Leaving Work on Time is 'Lack of Heat': Government Designates Humans as Renewable Energy, Karoshi Becomes 'Honorable Complete Combustion'

Leaving Work on Time is 'Lack of Heat': Government Designates Humans as Renewable Energy, Karoshi Becomes 'Honorable Complete Combustion'

Preparing for the depletion of fossil fuels, the government officially recognized the 'guts' and 'labor heat' of the people as a new energy source on the 11th. Along with this, a combustion rank such as 'burnable waste' has been added to the insurance card classification of the My Number Card, and high-calorie corporate slaves are prioritized for assignment to thermal power plants. While an environmental tax is imposed on 'leaving work on time' as 'incomplete combustion', those who collapse from overwork are disposed of as 'cinders' (industrial waste), and bereaved families are granted a large amount of environmental protection points.

Translations: JA
Money Maze
"Gross National Clumsiness" Adopted as Leading Economic Indicator; Noodle Factory Stock Soars on Investor Fat-Finger Errors

"Gross National Clumsiness" Adopted as Leading Economic Indicator; Noodle Factory Stock Soars on Investor Fat-Finger Errors

On the 17th, the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare officially introduced the "National Clumsiness Index (NCI)," which aggregates knife cuts and missed appointments, as a leading economic indicator. As a result of visualizing the nation's brain fatigue, the index entered the danger zone immediately upon release. Traders, exhausted and intending to buy shares of a "bandage maker," collectively pressed the wrong order buttons, leading to the ironic result of a local noodle factory's stock price skyrocketing.

Translations: JA
Money Maze
"Snow Shoveling" is Civil Engineering, "It's Cold" Posts are Weather Services — Government AI Suspends Millions of Pensions for "High Income"

"Snow Shoveling" is Civil Engineering, "It's Cold" Posts are Weather Services — Government AI Suspends Millions of Pensions for "High Income"

The fiscal reform AI "White Revenue," launched by the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare on New Year's Day, has automatically classified home snow removal as "advanced infrastructure maintenance operations" and SNS snow photo posts as "real-time news reporting services." As a result, millions of elderly citizens nationwide have been deemed to have "undeclared professional income," triggering immediate suspension of their working elderly pensions. Enraged senior citizens' groups are now preparing to invoice the government for formal snow removal wages—including late-night and holiday premium pay.

Translations: JA
Money Maze
Million-Yen Luxury Wi-Fi Defeated by Neighbor's Microwave. Wealthy Furious at Neighbor for Reheating Food

Million-Yen Luxury Wi-Fi Defeated by Neighbor's Microwave. Wealthy Furious at Neighbor for Reheating Food

A famous brand's satellite Wi-Fi has been flooded with complaints about being 'impossibly unstable.' Investigation reveals the signal was being interfered with by a few-thousand-yen microwave every time the neighbor heated frozen pizza. The brand issued a statement: 'Our radio waves are delicate. True luxury lies in the spirit of mutual consideration.'

Translations: JA
Money Maze
Town Loses Lawsuit Over 'World Cup Victory Parade Rights' as Hometown Tax Return Gift; Court Orders 'Judge Toss-Up Participation Tickets' as Substitute

Town Loses Lawsuit Over 'World Cup Victory Parade Rights' as Hometown Tax Return Gift; Court Orders 'Judge Toss-Up Participation Tickets' as Substitute

A town that offered World Cup victory parade rights as a hometown tax return gift has lost its case. The presiding judge, rejecting the town's claim of providing a 'dream subscription service,' ordered that 'Judge Toss-Up Participation Tickets' be issued to all donors, stating 'Reality over dreams.' Note: Toss-ups are only available during lunch breaks on weekdays in the courthouse courtyard.

Translations: JA
Money Maze
Railway Company Sues Accident Photos as 'Piracy': 'Derailment Was Premium Members-Only Performance Art'

Railway Company Sues Accident Photos as 'Piracy': 'Derailment Was Premium Members-Only Performance Art'

Great Imperial Capital Railway filed a lawsuit on the 22nd against three passersby who posted photos of a derailment accident on social media, charging them with 'digital shoplifting' and 'copyright infringement.' The company claims 'the angle at which the cars piled up was meticulously calculated modern art (kinetic sculpture)' and plans to retroactively charge witness fees and photography licensing fees. They argue that even the arrival of rescue teams was 'staged for an emotional finale,' and that unauthorized posts constituted spoilers that damaged future attendance opportunities.

Translations: JA
Money Maze