University Unveils Human Washing Machine with "Peer Review Mode" for Keirin Event to Combat Academic Misconduct
Claiming that the stains of academic misconduct can be removed physically, a university has unveiled a human washing machine. Set to spin at a keirin cycling event, its centrifugal force supposedly shakes off "redundant co-authors" while the rinse cycle aligns references. The drying cycle is configured so that "only the locus of responsibility remains."