Tag: Class Action

Articles tagged with "Class Action" (2 articles)

Film So Boring It Sparked a '2 Hours of Life Stolen' Lawsuit — Director Weeps in Bereaved Family Apology for 1-Star Movie

Film So Boring It Sparked a '2 Hours of Life Stolen' Lawsuit — Director Weeps in Bereaved Family Apology for 1-Star Movie

A highly anticipated blockbuster was so mind-numbingly dull that audiences filed a class-action lawsuit claiming it 'robbed them of 2 hours of their lifespan.' Outside the theater, victims clutching their ticket stubs collapsed en masse, their souls visibly drained. In response, the director held a tearful 'bereaved family apology' to the viewers' relatives, saying 'I killed your loved ones' precious day off.' The stolen time is expected to be repaid through daily installments deducted from the director's own remaining lifespan.

Translations: JA
"Omniscience Was a Bug" - Smart Glasses' "Divine Experience" Traced to GPU Thermal Runaway; Users File Class Action Demanding "Enlightenment Refund"

"Omniscience Was a Bug" - Smart Glasses' "Divine Experience" Traced to GPU Thermal Runaway; Users File Class Action Demanding "Enlightenment Refund"

The latest smart glasses delivered a "divine experience" where "cosmic truth flowed directly into users' minds." Some users even founded a new religion. However, an independent investigation committee determined the cause was not some grand cosmic phenomenon, but simple GPU thermal runaway. Lamenting believers who cry "Was the god I saw just screen flickering?" are now demanding an immediate refund for their "digital enlightenment" from the manufacturer.

Translations: JA