Game Console "Self-Destructs" Upon Detecting Piracy: String of Mysterious Fires Caused by Extreme New DRM Feature
The culprit behind a string of late-night mysterious fires has been identified as a cutting-edge game console. A ruthless DRM feature that "self-destructs" when it detects illegal copies is causing an uproar. The moment a pirated game is launched, the console erupts in pale blue flames, incinerating both the house and the evidence. It has been revealed that 80% of unsolved arson cases are actually these acts of "righteous self-immolation." The manufacturer claims users have already agreed to Terms of Service Article 84, "Destruction of Housing," prompting fire departments to urge gamers to read the fine print carefully.