Tag: Health

Articles tagged with "Health" (5 articles)

Senior Fitness App Wins Gold at Film Festival: 'The Last Step to the Remote' Praised for Epic Direction

Senior Fitness App Wins Gold at Film Festival: 'The Last Step to the Remote' Praised for Epic Direction

A fitness app for seniors that transforms every movement into an epic drama has sparked controversy after winning the Palme d'Or at Cannes—not for technology, but for filmmaking. The contentious piece is a three-minute masterpiece depicting the journey of rising from bed to grasp a remote control just 15cm away. Critics say the slow motion and the protagonist's breathing alone expressed humanity's primal yearning, moving the jury to tears.

Translations: JA
Cabinet Approves Bill to Mandate Nationwide "Crawling Forward"; Major Developers Announce "Horizontally Long Apartments"

Cabinet Approves Bill to Mandate Nationwide "Crawling Forward"; Major Developers Announce "Horizontally Long Apartments"

Following the discovery of a snake fossil, the government has approved a bill mandating all citizens to crawl as part of a "return to human origins." Aimed at promoting health, violators will be charged with "standing up crime." In response, major developers announced "horizontally long apartments" without elevators, sending their stock prices to the daily limit.

Translations: JA
Parts Memorial Temple Prays for Healthy Walking with Leftover Screws

Parts Memorial Temple Prays for Healthy Walking with Leftover Screws

The 'Parts Temple', which holds memorial services for leftover DIY screws and nuts, grants pedometer stickers to visitors and prays for their walking success. The head priest says 'The enlightenment of junk and improving leg strength go hand in hand', while bells made from collected parts ring throughout the temple grounds.

Translations: JA
National Stress Measurement Day: Results Heavily Redacted

National Stress Measurement Day: Results Heavily Redacted

The 'National Measurement Day' where the entire nation simultaneously measures stress levels via smartwatches has been conducted. However, the published statistics are covered in black bars, causing citizens' anxiety levels to skyrocket. Experts point out that 'concealment is the ultimate stressor.'

Translations: JA