New Olympic Event 'Heavy Snow Shoveling' Swept by Local Association; Foreign Pros Withdraw in Droves: 'My Back Has Reached Its Limit'
Aiming to cut costs, the IOC designated public residential roads as the course. A woman in her 70s maneuvering a 'Mama-san Dump' at high speed bypassed elite athletes equipped with state-of-the-art carbon gear to set a new world record. Receiving a secondary prize of a 'one-year supply of Salonpas,' the winner remarked, 'This was just a pre-breakfast warm-up,' skipped the award ceremony, and headed to shovel snow in the neighboring town.