Tag: Security

Articles tagged with "Security" (6 articles)

Ultimate Security Is 'Fingerprint Incineration': New Smart Lock That Burns Off Fingertips With Every Unlock Goes Viral

Ultimate Security Is 'Fingerprint Incineration': New Smart Lock That Burns Off Fingertips With Every Unlock Goes Viral

'A key that doesn't exist can't be stolen.' Following this logical conclusion, a smart lock that incinerates your fingerprint upon successful authentication has been developed. Residents praise it through tears of pain, saying 'Now it can never be duplicated.' Every evening, the faint smell of scorched flesh drifting from apartment entrances has become the symbol of a safe neighborhood.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Latest Security System 'Gaming Entrance' Achieves Record Results as Fishing Light Attracting Scammers

Latest Security System 'Gaming Entrance' Achieves Record Results as Fishing Light Attracting Scammers

Based on his unique security theory that 'people will cower before rainbow lights,' a wealthy Tokyo resident installed a high-brightness sliding door that glows in 16.8 million colors. However, contrary to its intended purpose, the dazzling light functioned as a 'physical targeting advertisement' that attracted shady businesses and scammers like moths to a flame. The homeowner is now distributing numbered tickets to the line of visitors, attempting to turn the situation into entertainment.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope
"God Not Responding": Shrine with Fully Digital Offerings Has Sacred Object Encrypted by Ransomware

"God Not Responding": Shrine with Fully Digital Offerings Has Sacred Object Encrypted by Ransomware

Offering thieves were eradicated, but hackers invaded instead. Tsukubamine Cyber Shrine has fallen into crisis after its main hall server was hijacked and the sacred object data was digitally "sealed." The head priest desperately claps his hands in prayer toward the ransom demand screen, while due to a firewall misconfiguration, the offering box keeps returning "404 Wish Not Found" to worshippers' wishes.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope
AI Detects 'Faithless Faces' at Nuclear Plants Nationwide. First to Be Reported: A Jizo Statue

AI Detects 'Faithless Faces' at Nuclear Plants Nationwide. First to Be Reported: A Jizo Statue

In pursuit of perfect security, nuclear power plants across Japan have simultaneously deployed facial recognition 'faith scanners.' Employees watch 'Sacred Energy' educational videos every morning while AI detects impure hearts from pupil fluctuations. However, on the first day of operation, the first 'zero faith' detection the system flagged with blaring alarms was a Jizo statue standing quietly in a corner of the grounds.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Single Misplaced Kyoho Grape Erases Star System" Cabinet Office Appoints 3-Year-Old as Special Minister

"Single Misplaced Kyoho Grape Erases Star System" Cabinet Office Appoints 3-Year-Old as Special Minister

The discovery that a 3-year-old's game of rearranging grapes on the dining table determines the rise and fall of interdimensional civilizations has prompted the government to treat this as a serious diplomatic issue, establishing the "Cosmic Grape Arrangement Security Office." The toddler minister simply stated "eat all" upon appointment, sending new tensions through diplomatic channels.

Translations: JA
Otherworld Pocket