City Council Decides on Crackdown Policy for UFO Parking Violations; Will Not Hesitate to Tow

The city council, aiming to become the galaxy's premier tourist destination, has decided to establish Earth's first UFO-exclusive parking lot. While the first 30 minutes are free, fines will be imposed for overtime, and severe cases will result in towing. Citizens are complaining, 'There's not even parking space for my light truck.'

2025-09-28

Translations: JA

Daily Surprise

City Council Decides on Crackdown Policy for UFO Parking Violations; Will Not Hesitate to Tow

The city council, aiming to become the galaxy’s premier tourist destination, has decided to establish Earth’s first UFO-exclusive parking lot. This parking lot will be developed in the square in front of city hall, where the first 30 minutes are free, but fines will be imposed for overtime, and in severe cases, they will not hesitate to tow - a thorough approach indeed. However, citizens are raising voices of concern about terrestrial reality, saying “There’s not even parking space for my light truck.”

This groundbreaking ordinance was submitted to the regular council meeting on the 22nd as the “Interplanetary Exchange Promotion and Unidentified Flying Object Street Parking Countermeasure Ordinance Bill” and was passed with an overwhelming majority. Councilman Ichiro Tanaka (Future Creation Party), who led the council, proudly states, “The recent increase in UFO sighting reports is nothing but an expression of their intention to visit us. Infrastructure development to welcome them with hospitality is an investment in the future.”

According to the plan, the parking lot will be a circular area with a 50-meter diameter, accommodating three craft. It will be paved with special gel material that absorbs landing impacts, and the fee collection system will accept not only Earth’s major currencies but also galactic standard credits. The funding will be covered by adding “Mayor for a Day (Aliens Only)” to the hometown tax donation return gifts.

The enforcement will also be serious. For overtime vehicles, newly developed adhesive drones will attach warning notices, and if repeated warnings are ignored, an “anti-gravity tow truck” with technical support from the Defense Ministry’s Technical Research Division will be dispatched. Confiscated UFOs will be transported to a storage facility in the city, and hefty fines and towing fees will be required for their return.

Citizens’ reactions to this decision have been cold. Mr. Suzuki (72), who runs a farm in the city, drops his shoulders saying, “Every morning, I drive around for 30 minutes looking for a place to park my light truck to go to the market. Before flying saucers, I wish they’d think about the square iron boxes running on the ground.” On social media, hashtags like “#NextStageOfTaxMoney” are trending, highlighting the gap between citizens’ confusion and the administration’s grand vision.

Professor Sato, who specializes in international space law, points out, “Whether Earth’s laws, let alone a local government’s ordinances, can be applied to extraterrestrial life forms is an extremely challenging attempt from a legal perspective.” He presents new challenges, saying, “If first contact begins with a parking violation notice, it could develop into an interplanetary diplomatic issue. At the very least, warning notices should be written in universal standard language.”

The council is already considering establishing an “Alien Resident Registration Counter” and enacting an “Ordinance on Pet (Extraterrestrial Creature) Waste Disposal” as next steps. The day when the ground-level problems citizens face and the distant universe the council envisions will intersect seems to be quite far off.

Stakeholder Comments

Councilman Ichiro Tanaka: “I’m prepared for criticism. History has always been made by those who were ahead of their time. Galileo was laughed at first too.”
Mr. Suzuki with the light truck: “Has my parking space disappeared into another dimension or something?”
UFO (wishes to remain anonymous): “I was just looking at the stars for a moment… I’ll tell my friends that this planet is strict about parking manners.”
Anti-gravity tow truck operator: “The operation manual is written in ancient characters and I can’t read it. I’ll just try pressing the red button for now.”
Parking surveillance drone: “Warning… Warning… Language settings… Unknown… Will just… Flash lights.”
Professor Sato (International Space Law): “If payment of fines is refused, is enforcement possible? This could be a very interesting precedent.”
City Finance Department staff: “The exchange rate for galactic standard credits fluctuates daily, so we can’t forecast revenue.”
Earth’s gravity: “Am I even working these days? Everyone’s just talking about floating around.”
Mayor of neighboring city: “They beat us to it… Maybe we’ll build a hot spring facility for aliens.”
The concept of bureaucracy: “Hehehe… My dominion has finally breached the atmosphere.”