"Absolutely Undiscoverable Pocket" Launch Event Ends in Cancellation After CEO Fails to Find It on Stage

At the launch event for “Stealth Pocket,” a next-generation wearable boasting ultimate concealment, the CEO wearing the demo unit lost the pocket on stage. After 30 minutes of self-searching, he tearfully declared the immediate cancellation of the project, stating “concealment has completely surpassed practicality.”

It happened at the new product launch event held on the 11th by Invisible Inc., a darling of the fashion-tech world. The company’s “Stealth Pocket,” positioned as “the final answer for the Privacy 2.0 era,” was a groundbreaking product that combined quantum stealth fiber and spacetime-warping sewing technology (company terminology), making it physically and visually unrecognizable to anyone except the wearer.

Taking the stage under the spotlight, CEO Kurauma Anshin boldly declared, “In modern society, privacy is not something to hide, but something to erase.” As the audience’s anticipation reached its peak, he attempted to demonstrate by storing his smartphone in the pocket. However, his hand merely wandered through empty space. The crucial pocket was nowhere to be found.

At first, Kurauma tried to lighten the mood with a joke: “Look at this perfect concealment!” But as five, then ten minutes passed, the smile vanished from his face. As he removed his jacket, turned it inside out, and groped his body on stage, the venue was engulfed in a whirlpool of confusion and nervous laughter. Several technical staff rushed to the stage, but they too were unable to locate the pocket.

After 30 minutes of struggle, Kurauma returned to the microphone drenched in sweat, tears in his eyes, and squeezed out his voice: “We created the perfect product. So perfect that it has escaped from the hands of its very creators.” “This is not a failure. We succeeded too much.” With this philosophical declaration of defeat, he announced the immediate cancellation of the project. The venue erupted in thunderous, yet somehow sympathetic, applause.

In response to this incident, a semiotician from Tohto Advanced University analyzed: “This is an incident symbolizing the dawn of the post-human era, where objects declare their independence from their owners.” Meanwhile, rival companies have already begun advertising campaigns for new products touting “pockets you can actually find” and “always accessible, worry-free design,” and the market is suddenly taking on the appearance of a return to basics, emphasizing “findability.”

Invisible Inc. says it will now focus on manufacturing existing “visible pockets.” Was it just one project that was lost, or was it the grand dream painted by excessive innovation itself? Until Kurauma left the stage, the “Stealth Pocket” was never found. Its existence will likely be passed down as legend.

Stakeholder Comments

• Kurauma Anshin, CEO: “Please don’t look for it. I’m sure the pocket just wanted to be free.”
• Chief Developer: “It’s working as specified. A complete victory for our technology, and a total defeat for usability.”
• Stealth Pocket (concept): “I was here all along. I just didn’t open my heart to anyone.”
• Audience Member: “The best performance ever, fusing near-future sci-fi with human comedy. Encore!”
• Rival Company Developer: “We’ll compete on the added value of ‘being findable.’ We won’t let our users get lost.”
• Fashion Critic: “The arrival of an era where clothes choose their wearer. Minimalism has reached its ultimate form.”
• Smartphone (intended to be stored): “Um… when is my turn?”
• Kurauma’s Jacket: “Honestly, it was ticklish. That was the first time I’ve been touched so thoroughly everywhere.”
• Security Guard: “I thought a suspicious person was starting to undress on stage. Good thing I didn’t call it in.”
• Usability Expert: “Features that users can’t use are the same as non-existent. No, even worse than that.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Winter sky above / Searching for the pocket still / The day grows darker
• Cannot be found now / Success is the reason for / These bitter teardrops
• Hidden far too well / Escaping even from its / Owner’s seeking hands
• The CEO here / Sweat and tears transform the demo / Into tragedy
• Cutting edge leads to / The final destination / Nothingness arrived
• High-tech leads us to / A dead end on this autumn / Evening growing dark
• Searching for lost things / Upon the stage remains the / Traces of a dream
• Technology to / Erase has now erased the / Practicality
• Concealment so great / It hides itself and so ends / Development now
• O pocket where art / Thou in this cold winter wind / Forever unknown

Kanji / Chinese Characters

究極秘匿次世代服 発表会CEO着用紛失 自己捜索後 涙中止宣言

Emoji

🕴️🧥❓🤷‍♂️💦😭🛑

Onomatopoeia

Silence… Murmur murmur… Rustle rustle… Pat pat… Shuffle shuffle!… Silence… Sob sob…

SNS

• #SteathPocketDisappearanceIncident
• #ThereAreLimitsToNotBeingFound
• #CEOHangInThereReallyHangInThere
• #ProjectCancellationSpeedrun
• #BeyondFashion
• #SuccessfulFailure
• #TearfulPressConference
• #OurPocketsAreDefinitelyFindable
• #PleaseDontLookForIt
• #ThankYouForTheLegendaryLaunchEvent