Extradimensional CEO Announces '100% Isekai Reincarnation Truck', Compliance Dept Outraged: 'Magic Circles Violate Traffic Laws'

Zenovas D. von Schwartz, the extradimensional seconded CEO of major automaker “Yaoyorozu Motors,” held a press conference on the 26th to announce the completion of the “TRK-00 Tensei (Reincarnation),” a new 2-ton truck that guarantees transfer to another world simply by boarding and receiving a certain level of impact. It is a groundbreaking and supernatural solution that captures the hearts of modern people who are about to be crushed by the absurdities of the real world.

The crash safety test footage released on the same day caused a great stir among the gathered press. 0.02 seconds before crashing into a concrete wall at 60 km/h, a high-intensity pale blue magic circle deployed from the center of the steering wheel. Instead of being slammed into an airbag, the crash test dummy disassembled into countless particles of light and completely “vanished” to the tune of a fantasy-style fanfare. The CEO proudly stated, “We will also offer cheat abilities as a monthly subscription add-on option,” and the venue was temporarily enveloped in an enthusiasm akin to a plea for salvation.

However, the internal Compliance Department has shown unprecedented anger toward this dream-like new car. The executive officer in charge of legal affairs was furious, saying, “There is no such item as ’extradimensional transfer via magic circle’ in the safety standards.” Furthermore, he raised extremely valid, realistic issues: “How are we supposed to explain this to the police in the event of an accident? If the report states, ‘Driver is absent due to departing for a world of swords and magic,’ what insurance company will cover the property damage liability?” The Transport Bureau is also holding its head in its hands, stating, “There are no regulations on how to measure the deterioration of magic circles over time during vehicle inspections,” resulting in a de facto suspension of approval.

Despite the delay in legal legislation, pre-orders flooded in from company employees exhausted by their daily grueling work, and the initial lot of 10,000 units sold out in just 3 minutes. However, behind the jubilation, the situation suddenly took a dark turn. An internal document purported to be the “Job Catalog for Reincarnation Destination Guilds” leaked on social media. It stated that the probability of reincarnating as a hero or sage was SSR-class (0.001%), and the mandatory requirements for the vast majority’s default reincarnation destination, “Villager A (Administrative Position),” included desperate phrases such as “Minimum 3 years of practical experience creating Excel macros” and “80 hours/month of unpaid quest overtime (included in deemed magic power allowance).”

“You mean to tell me I have to fight with VLOOKUP functions even after going to a magical world?” As soon as this cruel reality came to light, cancellations and complaints from awakened pre-order customers came pouring in. The customer center is experiencing an unprecedented scale of flaming due to agonizing inquiries such as “How much extra does the ‘Fully Automatic Pivot Table’ cheat ability cost?” and “How many approval stamps do I need on the proposal document for subjugating the Demon King?” It has become clear that the other world is also experiencing a severe shortage of engineers due to rapid IT implementation, revealing an ulterior motive to smuggle in ready-to-work corporate slaves under the guise of “reincarnation.”

Even crossing dimensional walls cannot let one escape the fate of a worker. Even with fantasy technology that transcends the laws of physics, the greatest modern magical barrier known as the “Labor Standards Act” could not be broken. What the modern heroes who gripped the steering wheel and sought salvation in the glow of the magic circle truly need right now might not be a one-way ticket to another world, but rather just a little bit of physical courage to slam a resignation letter onto their boss’s desk.

Stakeholder Comments

• CEO Zenovas (From another world): “This is an ecosystem to efficiently import the souls of excellent corporate slaves from this world in order to promote IT in our dimension. It’s a win-win, isn’t it?”
• Compliance Department Manager: “Cars are meant to run, stop, and protect lives! Shooting souls into extradimensional space is not included in an automaker’s articles of incorporation!”
• 30-something System Engineer who pre-ordered: “I thought about getting run over by a truck to escape my black company, but my reincarnation destination was a black guild. I can’t rest even if I die.”
• Recruiting Guild Master from the other world: “Recent reincarnated people say naive things like ‘I want to leave work on time.’ The Demon King’s army operates 24/7, 365 days a year.”
• Magic Circle (Deployment Unit): “To be honest, my current situation of being folded up and stored in a narrow gap in the dashboard is the worst kind of exploitative treatment.”
• Official at the Transport Bureau: “You want us to add ‘remaining magic power’ and ‘missing runic characters’ to the vehicle inspection items? That’s beyond out of our jurisdiction.”
• Crash Test Dummy: “Every time I hit the wall, I’m enveloped in light, and before I know it, I’m forced to do Excel spreadsheets against goblins. I want to go back to my original warehouse.”
• Customer Center Operator: “We don’t have a manual for answering the question ‘Can I take paid leave in my reincarnated world?’ Someone please help me.”
• New Employee aspiring to be a Hero: “I was practicing swinging a sword, but now I’ve switched to practicing touch typing and PowerPoint.”
• TRK-00 Front Bumper: “What even is the meaning of my existence…”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Magic circle glows / Yet the screen still shows Excel / Endless spreadsheets wait
• Escaping this world / Keyboard typing echoes loud / In the fantasy
• Spring melancholy / Reincarnation also / Has tight deadlines now
• Riding in the truck / Passenger seat is filled with / Endless forms to stamp
• Leaping to my death / Soul scatters to another / Desk job waits for me
• More than Demon King / I fear the screaming voice of / My angry boss here
• On inspection forms / Writing ancient runic script / Under hazy moon
• Holding cheat powers / Up all night building macros / In the dark of night
• Airbag is replaced / By magic that shatters dreams / And fades into dust
• Waiting patiently / To be reincarnated / Despite hay fever

Kanji / Chinese Characters

異次元社長二六日確実異界転生新型貨物車発表。 衝突時魔法陣展開法務部道交法違反猛反発。 疲弊会社員予約殺到。 然転生先要件表計算魔黒必須噂拡散苦情窓口大炎上。 異界労働環境劣悪判明。

Emoji

🚚💥🪄✨➡️🛡️⚔️❓ 👨‍💼💦📄💻➡️💀🔥 🙅‍♂️📜👮‍♂️💢📞💥🏢

Onomatopoeia

Vroooom, screech, crash! Flash, whoooosh… Murmur murmur, clack clack clack clack. Boom, ding.

SNS

• Got my #100PercentIsekaiTruck pre-order! Now I don’t have to go to work tomorrow!
• Wait, Excel is mandatory in the reincarnated world too? Then my current company is fine. #IsekaiCorporateSlave
• Will a magic circle pass a vehicle inspection? Will the dealership refill its magic power?
• It’s hilarious that the Compliance Dept is furious. I mean, you can’t exactly write “disappeared into another world” on an accident report lol
• I too had a period where I thought I could become a hero if I did an #IsekaiReincarnation.
• Demon King Subjugation Project (Zero Budget, Deadline Tomorrow)
• An alternate world where villagers who can’t use VLOOKUP are weeded out… isn’t life too tough?
• In the end, is it our destiny to work no matter where we go… #FailedEscapism
• Please implement a “Guaranteed Two Days Off A Week” cheat ability, desperately.
• A magic circle popping out instead of an airbag is way too chuunibyou lol It’s the best.